I’ve dated this guy for four years but he’s not good for me. I want to leave the relationship but everyone I speak to tells me I should stay because he doesn’t hit me. My mom believes there are no good men out there. My friends think it rains everywhere so I should stay.

I caught him cheating once. He apologized and I forgave him. I haven’t seen him cheating again but something tells me I’m not seeing it because he has gotten better at hiding it.

He doesn’t call me until I call him. He tells me his job makes him busy but since I’ve known him, it’s the same job he has been doing. But in the beginning, he was calling thrice a day and texting in between. Now he has stopped.

He forgets my birthday but remembers his and even throws a party. He tells me birthdays are not important, especially for a grownup like me so I shouldn’t expect anything special from him. I don’t expect anything special but the usual things boyfriends do for their girlfriends. Like sending them a message and putting them on their status. I don’t ask for gold but half attention on my birthday but he thinks it’s too much to ask.

That aside, he doesn’t make me feel like I have a man in my life. When he wants sex, he’ll be all over me for a day or two. Once he gets it, he goes off and comes again when he wants more. So the relationship is on and off. It’s like a switch he presses whenever he wants.

Putting all these together, I feel it’s not worth it but my mom thinks he’s a good man and since he hasn’t beaten me or insulted me, I should be OK with whatever he gives me.

I want more than this. I’m not the kind of lady who takes half a loaf and calls it better than none. I want all the loaf. I want a man who wants me and makes it show in everything he does. A man who plans with me. A man who makes me part and parcel of his agenda. Not this one. Am I asking for too much?

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—Sadia 

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