I got pregnant for my boyfriend while doing my national service. While I was in Ghana, he was living abroad, enjoying the greener pastures over there. I was scared, but he wanted us to keep the baby, so I did. During the nine months, we were both happy and hopeful about welcoming our child.

When the child was born, he returned to the country with high hopes, promises of marriage, and a happily ever after.

He was cheating. I spoke to my father about it, and he said to me, “Where do you want to go? It rains everywhere.” He asked me to be patient and stay because we even had a child together. “If it helps, close your eyes to them.” So I overlooked many things.

He stayed in Ghana for a while and then returned abroad. I would wake up to messages from friends sending me pictures and videos, asking if that was not my baby daddy. In those pictures and videos, he was with different girls, doing things that people in relationships were supposed to be doing with their partners. Again, my father’s words about life not being perfect played in my mind, so I let it go.

I convinced myself that he was a man and had needs, and since I was not there with him, whatever he needed to do to satisfy himself was fine.

I got pregnant again when he returned to Ghana. I lost the baby, which eventually led to our separation. Our families called for a meeting to try to reconcile us, but it didn’t work.

Because we have a daughter together, we still had to see each other often. It was agreed that he should rent a place for me and the child, and he did. What I didn’t know was that he had a spare key to my room.

One evening, while I was taking my bath, I heard someone unlocking my door. I rushed out to check on my daughter, shouting, “Who is that?” It was him. He had come visiting without informing me. We quarreled because of that.

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“This is my house. I came here to check and be sure you are not housing any man here.”

In the midst of all this, I wasn’t wearing any clothes and only had a towel on. I went back to the washroom to change and put on proper clothes, but he followed me, forced himself on me, and had sex with me. After that situation, he let me know he would not allow any man near me.

I was afraid, so I left the place early the next morning and went back to my mother’s house. I didn’t tell them the real reason why I returned.

Two months later, I got pregnant. I called him and let him know. He said it was good news. ” This is beautiful” I didn’t want to keep the pregnancy, but because of what he said, I decided to keep it.

But when I called him for upkeep money, he told me that if I would not allow him to sleep with me, he would not give me any money. I was working and had my own income, so it didn’t bother me much. He would bring money only when he felt like it.

We split the hospital bills after I delivered. I think he knew what he was doing when he encouraged me to keep the third pregnancy because one thing he always says is that no man would take me seriously. It felt like he was trying to hold me down because of the children.

Till today, he visits me unannounced, not because he wants to spend time with the children, but because he wants to find out if I am seeing another man. Meanwhile, he is living with another woman.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

I have reported him to my father and his family, but both sides have told me that because we have children together, I cannot tell him not to come close to where I am.

I am not interested in getting into another relationship right now, but I feel like he is holding me back and controlling my life. He already has someone else. After we broke up, I heard through the grapevine that he has another girlfriend and they are living together, so I honestly don’t understand why he is still doing this to me. What should I do?
—Berthany

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