They were walking together that day when I called Phyllis. I had liked her for a very long time, so wherever I met her, I stopped her and we talked, and that day was no different. After a few minutes, she pointed at her friend and said, “Araba doesn’t like waiting, so let me go. We’ll talk later.”

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She rushed back to Araba and waved me goodbye. Araba looked back at me with a frowned face. From that day on, Araba never liked me. If I say she never liked me, I’m not talking about someone being angry with you to the extent that she doesn’t want to talk to you. That one is mild. This girl hated me with passion, so she started destroying the small success I had built with Phyllis.

They walked together. There was no Phyllis without Araba, so it was tough for me. If I tried to get Phyllis to love me 10% today, Araba would make sure to unwind that 10% and replace it with doubt. So I asked Phyllis, “What did I do wrong that your friend hates me this much?”

She told me I shouldn’t pay attention to her friend but focus on her as a person. Months later, after trying unsuccessfully to get Phyllis to love me, she finally said yes. She told me, “If we are going to be successful, we ought to avoid Araba.” I agreed because she had been the only person against our relationship.

When we were together and Araba called, Phyllis would not pick up the call. I knew they had a business together. They both ran an ushering company where they organized ladies for product activation and general ushering duties. When she refused to talk to her, I was worried. I would say, “What if it’s about business?” She would answer, “Business can wait.”

We did very well without the influence of Araba for a long time because we hid from her. We played along the thin lines of her absence. If I called and Phyllis didn’t pick up, I knew she might be with Araba. I didn’t like it, but she explained why she had to do that.

One day, Araba travelled to Nigeria for work. She was going to be away for three months. I remember jubilating that day because the hater of my relationship had travelled. While she was away, we grew in different directions concerning our relationship. I took Phyllis home to meet my mom, and she did the same. In my mind, marriage would be the next step, even though the relationship was barely a year old.

She would close from work and come to my place and not go home until maybe days later. When we needed a change of environment, I would also go to her place, maybe spend the weekend there and live away. I prayed Araba never came back, but I realized it was a conversation we had to have, so I asked her, “Where do we place her when she’s back?” She answered, “Leave that one to me. I will fix it in a way that benefits both of us.”

A week or so later, I had closed from work and was bored at home, so I decided to get food and go to her place and spend the night with her. When I got to the entrance of the gate, I heard loud music and voices that sounded like a celebration. It was when I entered the compound that I realized it was coming from her room. I thought, “Who’s there, and why the noise?”

Instead of going in straight, I went around the window to see who was there with her. They stopped talking, so I couldn’t tell if it was a guy or a girl. I tiptoed around for a while. Because of the music, you could hardly hear what was going on inside. I opened the trap door and entered, only to see Phyllis naked on the carpet while Araba was on top of her. Araba was wearing a big T-shirt and nothing underneath.

They didn’t even notice my presence until I shouted, “Phyllis, what’s going on here?” They quickly reassembled. While Phyllis shrank and stayed on the floor, Araba walked with her shoulders high and took a seat. She asked, “Don’t you know how to knock? And why are you shouting?”

Phyllis remained on the floor for God knows how long. I stood like a statue, waiting for her to explain. All the while, Araba did her best to make me walk out of the door. I looked at her and warned, “One more word from that your stinking mouth and you’ll never use it again. Who the hell do you think you are?”

Phyllis got up and walked into the washroom while I waited forever for her to come out. I eventually walked out of the house with my heart pounding in my chest. I was broken beyond words, but that scene made me understand everything that had been happening since we started dating and why Araba hated me with passion.

It took us three days to have a meaningful conversation about it. She apologized. She said they had been together before I came along. She had been trying hard to leave her, but because of their business together, she couldn’t. I asked, “You’re into women, so what are you doing with me?” She answered, “I’m not. She’s the one who introduced me to it, and she has been the only woman I’ve done that with.”

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She told me I shouldn’t leave her because she’s not that kind of girl. I haven’t left her yet, but we’ve never been serious since that incident. She later told me she had left the company with Araba and wouldn’t return to it again. She said she’s making changes in her life and building walls Araba can’t scale. She’s making a lot of promises, and I appreciate her effort to make things right, but I saw them with my own eyes, and that scene will never leave my memory.

The only consolation I have now is that she cheated with a woman and not a man—but isn’t that the same? Would you advise that I take her back?

—Safira

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