If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

Sometimes you want to give up. You want to let everything go not because you’re weak but because the fight you’ve fought over the years had made you weak. It has drained all the energy in you so you don’t have anything left to fight with. I got to that station. I felt I was the only one fighting. I was the only one asking questions and the only one bringing up suggestions. So I relaxed, preparing my heart to let everything go. He called one afternoon and said, “I’ve spoken to my mother’s elder sister. For some reason, my mother listens to her more than anyone else. I’ve convinced her about my desire to marry you. She supports me. She is ready to have a chat with her sister. So let’s wait and see what happens afterward.”

A fire in me ignited. It was fierce. It was like everything I had been waiting for. It wasn’t the news about her mother’s sister coming in to help per se. The fact that he still had the marriage in mind made me happy. I asked, “But where has she been all this while?” He answered, “It escaped me. This sister of hers is far from home that’s why she never came to mind. But the good thing is, she’s ready to help so let’s trust the process.”

One evening I had a call. The voice said, “Obaa, ɛti sɛn? Don’t be weary wai. I will do my best to get her to come to her senses. You’re not the one who gave birth to that child. Even if it was you, it doesn’t mean it can happen again. My son’s happiness is what I want here. He wants to marry you and it’s exactly what we are going to do.” 

That was the voice of his aunt. I couldn’t hold myself together. There was a revival in my spirit. I answered, “I’ve heard you, mom. I’ve heard great things about you and I believe you’re the only answer I have left. Do something for me. We’ve tried so hard.” She said, “I called to encourage you not to worry. Pray too. Some of these things come from a deeper place than we see. She’ll agree with me. You’ll get married as you desire.”

That night, I went to bed and had a dream. I was in my wedding gown and a beautiful veil was covering my face. I was smiling a lot. I was holding his hand and the pastor was blessing the marriage. When he said “I do,” I burst out crying. Tears of joy. Tears usually warm your cheeks but this one was so cold. It was her mother who came to hug me. She said, “I’m sorry for everything but I’m happy you didn’t give up. Go on and give me grandkids. I can’t wait to hold them.” Her words drew more tears from me. Cold tears. I woke up from sleep holding my cheeks. Trying to wipe away my cold tears. Then I realized it was a dream. I knelt on my bed and prayed; “Dear God, I know this is you. You’re showing me the crown after the battle. I’m grateful for all you’ve done. Let it be according to what you’ve shown me in my dreams.”

In the morning when I fully woke up, I called Steve and told him about it. He laughed. He said, “Then good things are coming.” He also told me that his aunt was coming that very day to meet his mother. I said, “Oh that explains the dream. God has already done it.”

In the evening I saw Steve’s call. He said, “Can you come around? I mean right now?” I asked him, “What’s happening? Who wants me?” He said, “Just hurry up and come to the house. My aunt wants you here.” I stopped everything I was doing and rushed to their house. I was almost a hundred meters away from their house when I heard the noise. It was loud. It didn’t sound like a joyful noise. It sounded like a fight between two women who are not ready to be separated. I met Steve at the gate. He said, “It was all calm when I called you but it looks like my mother said something that got her sister angry. They are fighting now so it’s not a good idea for you to go inside there.”

He stayed out with me until calm was restored. His father was the one in the middle trying to calm them down. I heard his aunt’s voice; “They’ll marry. You won’t stop them.” His mother also responded, “Go and give your daughters to men who have sick people in their family. You can’t come out of nowhere and tell me what I should do in my own house.” I said in my head, “The dream was a lie. Eish, this woman…” Steve’s father came out and saw me standing there with him. He looked at me with sad eyes. He said, “My daughter, you see the fight that’s going on here? It’s not easy but have patience ok. Everything would be alright.”

I didn’t enter the house. I didn’t even meet his aunt. I walked back home without accomplishing the reason Steve called me. Before his aunt left, she called me and Steve together. Steve’s father was there and they both agreed that the marriage could go on whenever we are ready. His aunt said, “I will stand in for my son. His happiness is very important to me. Whenever he’s ready, I will be his mother.” His father also said the same thing but put it in a different way. He said, “Sometimes you have to be defiant to achieve what you want in life. Once you are married and the babies start coming, she’ll not have the same stand. She’s just scared.” 

What I hoped for didn’t work but it brought some sort of lifeline into my dead situation. The ball was in our court. Whether to kick it or not depended on us—let’s say depended on Steve. I was waiting for him to make a decision. He said, “Let’s give it one more month and see what she’ll say.” One month later, the same story. I told him, “We’ve waited for so long. I don’t think she’s going to change her mind. We have two options now; To go ahead without her or just go our separate ways. This is too tiring. I’m worn out.” He said, “Would you marry me if your mother said no? Wouldn’t you have taken your time to rope her in? Don’t put pressure on me to do what you won’t do for me.”

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I went back to the same position I was in before the arrival of his aunt. I put my heart on ice, took my mind off everything and told myself, “He won’t make a move so I would make one for myself. I’m the one who is worn out, not him. I have to decide whether to continue fighting or not.” 

One early morning I called him, “Steve, looking at how things are going, we’ve hit a dead end. There’s nothing we can do so I’ve decided to let everything go. It’s better that way than continue squeezing water from the rock.”

His response was simple, “If that’s what you want, then so be it.”

“Steve, is that all you can say?”

“What do you expect me to say? You’ve already decided what you want to do. I can only agree with you.”

“Is that all, Steve? Your answer seems so cold. It’s like you were waiting for me to make this move.” 

“Why would you blame me for a decision you yourself have made? Where do I come in?”

“Anyway, it’s all good. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye too.”

It’s amazing how things come to an end. You spend the best five years of your life building a relationship, going through struggles and pain only for it to come down without a sound. Weird, right. It was like a needle through the water. Flawless. Soundless. We were over just like that. The way he accepted my decision without a fight caused my heart a lot of pain. So I cried. Cold tears. A lot of tears that didn’t want to stop. I remembered the dream. I remembered the veil I was wearing. I remembered the hug from his mother. I asked, “Where did all these things go that I’m here crying all alone?”

I believed more than I should have. It’s the reason I took it into my dreams. My heart wanted to be right for holding on. I myself wanted to be right so in the end, I would say, “Love isn’t easy.” But I was wrong. It ended. He texted seldomly to ask how I’m doing. He called to say, “You came to mind so I decided to check up on you.” On Christmas day he called to wish me a merry Christmas. Healing had been slow but on the 31st night when I prayed I said, “I’m not going into a new year with old pain. I leave it here tonight as I cross over. The past cannot be part of my future.” 

So far so good. I’m no longer fighting for what I can’t have. When the sun rises, I rise with it. When it sets, I set with it but with hopes that tomorrow would be a better day. And so far, it has always been a better day. 

–Nhyira

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