I live with my mom at forty. My father died when I was twenty, and since I was the last child, I stayed home with my mom. Fortunately for me, after school, I got a job here, and it’s not too far from my house. Because of that, I wasn’t motivated to leave the house.
At forty, life looks upside down. I’ve done the same job for over ten years. Anytime I try to change jobs, something happens, and it’s not successful. I’ve been meaning to leave town, maybe find a job in Accra and move. I would attend interviews, and nothing would come out of them.
My elder brother is abroad. He has been there for so many years. Five years ago, he came for my sister, and then he started working towards sending me abroad too.
He has tried several times, and each time, he hits a wall. My sister’s arrangement was very easy, but when it got to my turn, nothing worked. My friend told me, “Until you leave home, nothing will work for you.”
I asked him, “Are you insinuating something about my mom?”
He responded, “Nobody gets success living in the town they were born and raised in, especially while living in their parents’ house.”
I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time, but I told myself, “It’s not always the case that you don’t get success from the town you were born and raised in. My time will come.”
A few weeks ago, I felt strongly in my heart that what my friend said was true, that until I leave this house, nothing would work for me. My mom told my brother that she wanted to visit abroad before she died. It’s something she has said for a very long time, so my brother finally said he was going to try for her.
He tried once, and it worked. As I write this, my mother will be travelling abroad in December and will probably stay for six months. It’s easy for everybody until it gets to my turn. I asked myself, “Is it not the same thing my brother has tried and tried for me, and it didn’t work? How come it is easy for my mom?”
At this point, I totally believe what my friend told me. I have to leave home. I know I have to leave, but how do I just leave when there’s no opportunity I can jump into and begin life? My friend said, “Just go wherever you want to go with your little savings. The rest will follow.”
What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?
I feel it’s dangerous advice. At my age and the point I’m at in life, I don’t have to jump without a safety net. My life has stalled for so long that I don’t have to make it any worse. But he said, “That thought in your head is also the reason you’re where you are. If you don’t risk it, forget it.”
This friend wants to help me. He’s in Accra, and he says he will share his space with me until I can move out. He has a wife and kids. Going to live with him to start afresh looks scary and also uncomfortable.
I want to know. Is my case different, or is that how it is for everyone? Your siblings get everything easily until it gets to your turn. I need answers before it’s too late for me.
—Kojo
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
******
I can’t say what your friend said about you not having the breakthrough is because you’re staying in your parents home is true or otherwise. But I also think you should go somewhere for a while. I will also not advise though that you quit your work at the time when you haven’t found a new one. I will rather suggest once your mum travels abroad, take a leave from your work and go and live somewhere away from home. In case you can’t take a leave from work, then go in for an AirBnB which is close to your work place and stay there for a month or more before coming back home