Charlie, guys, I’m really worried.

I’m with a woman in her late 20s. She’s a good woman. In fact, apart from our bedroom life, she’s everything I could ask for. At first, I thought maybe she was cheating, but she’s not. She’s loyal. Faithful. Solid.

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But the truth is, we can be in the same room for three whole months and not have sex, and she won’t even flinch. She can sleep from 9 in the evening to 6 in the morning without any care in the world. If I try to touch her, she won’t stop me, but it’s like she’s not even there. No energy, no vibe. Just lying there like she’s asleep. Our sex life is dry. Very dry. And it’s killing me slowly.

Yet, this same woman supports me in everything. She has been there for me in ways I cannot even explain. She is solid in every other area. But this one part, this intimacy part, is just not working.

Now here’s the part I’m not proud of. I’m cheating. I know it’s wrong. I hide it from her. She doesn’t allow me to go out after 9 PM, and I respect that. I don’t go out. But I still cheat. Not physically all the time, but I chat with someone else. I know it’s not right. I know I’m playing with fire. But I feel stuck.

She once told me her libido is low. And I’ve tried to understand. But I’m a man too. I have needs. I’m not trying to use that as an excuse, but I’m being real.

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So now I’m asking, how do I talk to her about this? How do I bring it up without hurting her or making her feel like she’s not enough? Because I don’t want to keep cheating. It’s not fruitful. It’s not who I want to be.

But if I walk away from this relationship, can I really be blamed?

—Nii

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