My husband’s best friend died. They had been friends since childhood. He was our best man during our wedding and my husband was also their best man. We became a bonding family and even took trips together. This friend fell sick for a year and later died. He left behind two kids—a five-year-old and an eight-year-old.

After the funeral, I and my husband made it a point to help the widow and the kids so they wouldn’t need anything.

We pay the fees of the kids and when the family of our friend decided to fight the widow on their properties, we hired a lawyer for her to fight the case. The case had been won. She got the properties she needed so life should be good for her and the kids. That aside, we continue to help them.

The problem now is my husband. His dedication to the family of his friend is becoming problematic and suspicious. We have two kids of our own but my husband would pay the fees of his friend’s children before he would grudgingly pay for that of our kids. He always doesn’t have money until the widow calls.

That’s not even the main issue. He’s always spending time with them, fighting their issues for them as if they were his own and he does this at the expense of us. From work, he’s there. On weekends when he dresses up, that’s where he goes. He would take them out and have fun while we stay home. Previously, we did these together so what has changed?

When I raise the issues for discussion, he calls me insecure and jealous. He would play the victim and ask if I’m not ashamed for picking on poor orphans and a widow. This woman is working. She needs support but not everything that my husband seeks to give them. We are constantly fighting and it makes it hard for me to relate well with this widow and the children.

He Says He Can’t Date Me Because I’m Too Beautiful

I want to know, would you act the same way I’m acting if you were in my shoes or I’m doing too much? As in, am I exaggerating? Shouldn’t I be worried about the way my husband treats his own family as compared to the way he treats his friend’s widow and kids?

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—Alicia

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