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Before I start my story I need to clarify something. I am a grown man in my mid-thirties. I have had a couple of relationships before this current one. And I never for once hit any of my women. I am not an abusive person like most of the people in the comments are saying.

Right from the beginning of our relationship, my girlfriend told me I was too clingy for her. So she refused to show me her house. Our relationship is long distanced. I thought she would eventually allow me to know her place when enough time passed. Nevertheless, that has not been the case. We’ve been together for almost a year yet I still don’t know where she lives. Every time I visit her we sleep in hotels. That’s how she likes it.

If I disagreed with her on something she would threaten to break up with me. And because I love her so dearly, I would beg her to take me back. Sometimes I’d cry before she rescinds her decision. Every little thing I do, she tells me, “I can’t continue this relationship anymore.” It is as if she is doing me a favour by dating me.

One of the things we agreed on when we started dating was, we were free to go through each other’s phone whenever we wanted. When she first came to see me, I gave her my password and access to my phone. She on the other hand wouldn’t allow me to touch hers. She held it so tightly in her hand. Meanwhile, I wasn’t interested in going through her phone.

In her story, she said we were constantly fighting because of my insecurities. Tell me, which man will take it lightly when his woman has a habit of posting her male colleagues on her WhatsApp status? She posts their photos with sweet captions, talking about how much she loves them. This is not something that only happened once or twice. And when I asked her questions or complained, she threatened to leave me. I have screenshots on my phone to back this claim.

A while ago, I went with her to my grandma’s funeral. She had to leave before me because of work. So my mum got some stuff for her and asked me to deliver it to her. When I got to her town with the items, my girlfriend told me, “I am preparing to go to work so I can’t meet you.” I suggested, “Why don’t you give me directions to your place? I will bring them over.” She said, “No, that won’t be necessary. Just drop the items at the station and I will send someone to pick it up for me.” This is someone I proposed marriage to and introduced to my family. What more could I have done to earn the right to know her address?

There’s a man in her life. She says he is her distant uncle. I don’t even know what that means. She cooks and washes for this man. I always ask her, “Doesn’t your uncle have a wife or girlfriend who will take care of these things for him?” She has yet to give me a reasonable response.

I was talking to her one evening when she hurriedly said goodbye and hung up. Unfortunately for her, the call didn’t disconnect. I heard her talking to a man. She asked him, “Where are the things you said you’d bring when you visit me?” She must have noticed then that I was still on the call because the call disconnected immediately after that. Later, she called to give me an unsolicited explanation for her behaviour. The man she had in her room was this same uncle.

Just recently, I called to check up on her because she was unwell. She told me she was going to town to buy drugs, but I found out later that she went to town with the said uncle. She doesn’t want me to know where she lives but her uncle visits her. Is there something she is hiding or maybe she thinks I’m not her class of man? Or I am the one overthinking? One thing I want us to know is that trust is earned. It’s your attitude that will make someone trust you.

With regards to the Facebook comment I made under her post, how was I supposed to react when a guy I didn’t know commented on her photo, “Our wife,” and replied with a flower? Even when I only said okay, my girlfriend attacked me and insulted me. To avoid further problems, I went to delete the comment. She then warned me, “Don’t ever comment on my post again.” After that, she broke up with me.

This time around, I didn’t beg her to take me back. She was the one who asked one of her relatives to apologize to me on her behalf, and then later, apologized to me herself. I forgave her and we moved on. Don’t we all have problems in our relationships? Is it not normal for a man to get jealous when his woman is entertaining other men?

READ ALSO: We Can’t Sleep In Our House Because Of The Loans My Wife Took For Our Wedding

She is someone who doesn’t want me to voice out my concerns if I don’t like something she is doing. If I insist on addressing issues, she verbally abuses me.

We used to play and laugh at jokes. We even have nicknames for each other. However, I lost my job recently. We all know the psychological discomfort that comes with joblessness. I expected her to be there for me in this difficult time, but no. She rather tells me, “You can’t bring your frustration on me.” It’s as if she wants me to be the same bubbly person I was before I lost my job.

He Says He Can’t Date Me Because I’m Too Beautiful

Unlike me, she is in her late twenties. She is still young. So she believes she has time to find love again if our relationship fails. I also believe that the difference in our unemployment status is another one of our problems. She has a job but I don’t. And that shows in the way she treats me. I don’t have a say in the relationship anymore. When I insist on something to be done, she tags me as authoritative.

Seeing as she has decided to leave the relationship, all I can do is wish her well. I just want her to know that posterity will judge us all. The sun will rise, and we will try again.

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—Nelson 

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