I was in a new town and was very lonely. I went to work in the morning and came back in the evening without any events. I slept, woke up the next morning, and went back to work. There was nothing in between, and that got me very bored. It wasn’t the kind of life I was used to.

One morning, while in the office, I saw a lady sweeping the office in front of us. Her waist caught my attention, so I stood there until she got up and I saw her face. The face wasn’t that encouraging, but she had a beautiful body. I pushed myself to get her number, and she respectfully gave it to me.

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In the evening, I called to tell her I needed someone to clean my house for me and was wondering if she could do it. She gladly accepted, so early in the morning, I met her by the roadside, took her to where I was living, and gave her my keys so she could go back and clean while I was at work.

I’d rented the place not long ago, and a lot of things were not in good shape, but she did a very good job and waited until I closed from work so she could give me my keys. She was sitting outside waiting for me when I got home. I took her inside to inspect the work, but while going around with her, I held her close and told her I liked her and wanted her to be my friend.

That very day, it happened. I gave her money and escorted her out. She came to sweep that office the next morning, and I asked her to resign from that job because I didn’t want to see her do that. She was paid only GHC500, so I told her I would pay her.

She became my full-time girlfriend and also a companion. At some point, she became like a wife because we were living together. She would stay for days and then go back home for a few days and come back. I was no longer bored. She took me around town to show me places I could do whatever I needed to do. She was also a vibe, but deep inside me, I was using her to while away time.

Just two months into our relationship, she got pregnant. I was so sure she was going to abort, so I wasn’t worried until days later when she was not saying anything. I asked if she was keeping it. She said, “Yes, I’m keeping it. It’s for you. How can I abort the child of the man I love so much?”

I shouted at her, “Stop speaking silly things and do the right thing.” She retorted, “No ooo, I can’t do that. God will never forgive me, and my family will abandon me if they get to know I did such a thing.”

She was only twenty-five and had her whole future ahead of her, but she said no—she would keep the child. One day she left and didn’t come back again. The only person I knew who knew her said she didn’t know where she had gone to, but she hadn’t been in town.

Over a week later, my calls to her finally got through. I begged her and even gave marriage as a promise. She said, “If you will marry me, then why do you want me to do that to your child?”

She was eight months pregnant when she came to my place with her mother. The woman advised me not to abandon her daughter even if I wasn’t going to marry her. She asked me to pay an amount for her upkeep and also treat her like a human being.

I saw her and her bulging tummy, and my heart melted in pity. I wasn’t angry or disappointed or anything. I loved the fact that she could stand on her word and do what she said she would do. I didn’t love her, but she was carrying my child. I had promised myself never to have children with different women. I decided I was going to marry her. It was a far-fetched call, but I thought I would grow to like her.

She delivered a baby girl—very tiny and beautiful, with curly hair. I saw the baby and instantly fell in love with her and didn’t want to leave her side. She has been with her mom since she delivered three months ago. I want to marry her so I don’t have to explain myself to the next woman I would date.

She doesn’t know I’m thinking about marriage. To her, every little I give is enough. There’s nothing too small in her eyes, except that I don’t love her the way I should love a woman I want to marry. I came to the conclusion that I had to marry her no matter what, but my question is: won’t I cheat on her if I marry her? Will I treat her any better? Will I scorn her or blame her for trapping me with a pregnancy?

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If I marry her eventually, it will be because I don’t want different women bearing my children and nothing else. I don’t like her face, I don’t like her educational background, I don’t like her upbringing, I don’t like the way she can’t talk in undertones, and I can’t imagine spending forever with her. Isn’t it more gracious and respectful to let her go than marry and later regret it? Too many reasons not to marry her, but it looks like I’m going to do it for the only one reason I have. What’s your advice? Should I marry her and later learn to love her, or is it not worth it?

—Afrifa

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