I met her one afternoon and asked for her number. She gave it to me without playing hard to get. That same day in the evening, I called. The conversation was going fine, so I told her, “If I want to see you tonight, is it possible?” She answered, “Why not?”
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We met at a bar, talked, and I took her home to see my place. I asked her, “Why don’t you sleep over?” She answered, “Oh, so now you want me to sleep over? Let’s do it another time.” When I insisted, she agreed to sleep over. When I tried getting intimate with her, she asked me, “Who am I to you that you want to get intimate with me?”
So I proposed to her that very moment, and that very moment, she gave me access to her body. All this happened in just one day. I thought I was only going to hit and run, but something about her wouldn’t let me run. It could be curiosity. It could be love. I don’t know. As I write this, our relationship is one year old.
She has been awesome in all areas of the relationship. I’m the one who has a problem now. I’ve helped her get a job that pays well. Through that, she has rented her own place and left her parents’ house. She doesn’t worry me or cause me any problems, but because of how I got her, I’m always haunted. When I see her talking to a man, I’m scared she would spend a night with the person.
I go through her phone every day. I ask why she called this number and that number. I read her WhatsApp chats. I follow her secretly when she goes out in the evening. I lied that I was traveling for a week, but all that week, I was lurking in her area, checking who she brings home and who she goes out with. I didn’t find anything wrong, yet I can’t bring myself to trust her.
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I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m the problem. It’s the ghost of the past that’s haunting me. I want to trust her wholly, just the way she opens up to me. I want to hear her say, “I’m out with friends,” and believe it’s true. I want to see her talk to another man and believe she can stand on her own. How do I reach that place of trust, looking at how our relationship started?
—Mo
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*****
Get a friend of yours to hit on her.
Learn to give her the benefit of doubt but be watchful. You’re being paranoid because she gave you easy access and that’s because she’s really into you.
She liked you right from the beginning. That’s why she did not play hard to get. What’s the point of this unnecessary cat and mouse game we play, anyway? A friend of mine dated a lady for several years and throughout this period she refused him sex. Yet, we found out later she had a side man who was servicing her regularly. What about that? Your woman is not cheap. She is just forthright and honest about her feelings. Don’t let your insecurities drive away a good thing.