We were friends. Up until somewhere in March 2024. Then we started talking to each other more than friends should. We grew a bond outside of being friends. It was our thing. Very special. Just us and us alone.
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I remember how we even became friends. Just a small conversation. It was at the university. I was done with my lectures, just sitting and studying, when Grace stood by me. She looked at me and said, “Move aside and let me study with you.” I just smiled and obeyed her command. That was how we became friends.
Later, I found out Grace and I were in the same department, same level. So we became reading mates. We did everything together. Studying, walking, leaving class. Everything you could think of.
I remember Grace would get so pissed off. She’d ask if she cook a meal for us to eat while we studied, and I said I would not love it. She was so angry at me I had to change my mind. From then, Grace brought lunch to me every day at school. Until I had to force her to stop feeding me.
Every day I expected to see a call from Grace or a text. We could text all day, every day. Even my mother noticed. She would tease me. “Ei, won’t you call your female friend? Ei, why is your female friend?” It was like that until I told my mom about Grace.
So one day, I sat down and told my mom about Grace. And she actually loved her. That was until I mentioned that Grace is a fully devoted Catholic lady and I am a fully devoted Muslim man.
Grace and I talked about the future most of the time. What do you want to see in the next five years? She would say she wanted to be independent before settling down. It aligned with my vision too. We talked about genotype, and we are good to go. Finances, emotions. We had those hard conversations. Grace and I wanted each other.
But my mom was not on the same page. Because I am Muslim, I could not be with a Christian. According to her, there was no way on earth my father would allow me to marry someone outside our religion. Even she would not allow it.
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So I tried the next thing. I asked Grace if she could convert. To bring peace so we could move forward. I mean, these things happen, right? But Grace’s response was that her pastor said a Catholic lady can marry a Muslim guy and still practice her religion.
So one day, we had to call it quits. That was how I ended my six months. Beautiful, the most beautiful relationship with Grace. It was beautiful and worthwhile while it lasted. The illusion of being in love… oh, it was worth the ride.
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But we are still friends. We talk from time to time. And I am still here, looking around for my other half, because most of my female friends are Christians. I always pray to my creator to locate a Muslim, God-fearing, good-character, kind, generous, caring, loyal lady into my life.
Does religion really matter in a relationship? And is it bad to ignore the advice of parents when it comes to marriage?
—Ahmed
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It matters a lot. It can make and unmake a relationship .
Yes it does. Our Christian faith forbids it saying we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Good you called it quits to look among your kind
That’s also what am going through, my dad does not allow me to marry Christians and my fiance is Christian but my brothers are marrying Christians ooo
There are several examples of successful interfaith marriages. In Ghana, a celebrated interfaith marriage is that of Betty Mould-Iddrisu and her Muslim husband Mahama Iddrisu. You face a tough and uphill task against people you love but it is worth winning the love of your life! The most important question that must be resolved now than later is to agree which faith your children will profess. Good luck.
What matters most in a marriage is the two people involved. Your parents will not live with the woman that you marry. Ultimately, you’re the one whose opinion matters most because it’s your life.
Islam doesn’t forbid marrying Christian women, neither does Christianity forbid marrying non Christians. Your parents are objecting out of their own personal prejudice. If they complain again, show them the relevant Sunnah that permits you to marry Women of the Book.
The Bible clearly states that if you’re married to an unbeliever, you shouldn’t leave them because you don’t know if God intends you to be the instrument of their salvation.
I have a family friend who married a Christian woman as a Muslim, today he’s a pastor. The Roman emperor who made Christianity the state religion of the Roman empire was the product of an interreligious marriage.
Many more interreligious marriages would have worked out today if people put their prejudice aside and stopped fighting against them before they even happened. True love is a rare and precious thing, if you’ve found it, you should be willing to fight for it. After all, neither one of you was alive when Jesus and the Prophet Muhammad were establishing their religions. The reason why you’re a Muslim is because you were born into a Muslim family ditto for Grace. It’s not because of any great truth or assurance that you’re in the right, most people simply follow the religion that they were born into.