In the four years we’ve been together, we spent two years as a long-distance couple. The first year, I was close to him in Accra. Then in the second year, my job transferred me to Accra. During that period, we were constantly in touch. We kept things fresh with scheduled visits. Now I am back in Accra and we see each other often. It feels like we never left. Or at least it felt that way.

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Apart from some bad dreams I used to have about our relationship, everything was fine. We never really had any issues. I am a calm person. Even when I am not happy about something, I don’t handle it with confrontations. He was also not someone who caused me problems. And whenever I had those bad dreams about us, he would tell me, “Let’s pray about it.”

I have always known his password but I never felt any need to go through his phone. There is a way a man would behave that would make you feel he is up to know good. Jojoe has never been like that. He is the true definition of prim and proper. He doesn’t even smell like disappointment. That’s why I always felt I won a jackpot when I landed him.

Recently, he had three days off work and decided to spend them at my place. On one of those days, I got curious while he was in the bathroom. I typed his password and opened his phone. He receives a lot of messages because of the nature of his work. I didn’t open the ones that appeared like work. I just kept scrolling until I saw one name: Portia.

I opened the chat and went all the way up. I stopped swiping when I got to a part where she said, “Tomorrow is your boy’s birthday.”

I expected my man to laugh it off as a joke but he responded, “Check your account, I’ve sent you something small for him.”

My heart raced as many questions flooded my mind, but I didn’t stop reading.

Another part of their conversation that caught my eye was when Jojoe sent her a view once photo. Of course, I couldn’t see the content of the photo. I did see the text he sent after the photo, “Daddy don miss you.”

She responded, “Miss you too. I’m even wet.”

Here is the thing. “Daddy don miss you” is a term the two of us use. It’s usually his way of telling me that his d*ck misses me. So, for him to use it with her, I knew something had happened between them.

Everything showed they had already been intimate and were missing each other. They were constantly updating each other about their daily lives. That day I didn’t say anything to him. I acted as if I didn’t see anything.

The next time I checked his phone, the chats with Portia were gone. Deleted. But there was a new set of chats. Each time I searched, old ones were gone, replaced by fresh ones. Some even had missing replies, meaning he deleted parts of the conversation.

I confronted him. I didn’t directly mention Portia but I asked if he was hiding something from me. “Are you seeing someone else?”

He denied everything. I realised I should have taken screenshots of their conversations as proof. Regardless, I probed until he told me there was one lady who seemed interested in him. “Maybe she is the temptation you’ve been sensing.”

He even sent me screenshots of a chat between the two of them. He was telling her that he was in a relationship. He added that she’s a single mother and sometimes he supports her with some money.

I asked where she lived and he said Pokuase. Another time he said Adenta.

This man used to be my everything. I trusted him completely. I believed he was the one person who would always be in my corner. He has been kind, caring, and so present. We’ve been through a lot together.

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Now I see that he has only cared about himself. I don’t see the same way anymore. The trust I had for him is gone. I’m even scared of him because I don’t know what else he is lying about.

Our once peaceful relationship has turned into something else. I get angry at him easily.

He has noticed the change, but whenever he asks what’s wrong, I just say, “I’m fine.”

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I’m not fine at all. I’m only pretending. I can’t look him in the eye. I can’t freely dress or undress in front of him because I feel he’s comparing me to Portia.

I don’t know if they are friends benefits, or if I am the side chick in the relationship. It’s so hard to walk away after four years together. Why would he do this? The surprising thing is, he is on this page. He reads the cheating stories but he is also part of the people who do it. Hmm.

—Efiya

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