I have a beautiful baby girl. She is tiny, perfect, and full of light, and I am terrified.

Not of the sleepless nights or the tantrums to come but of the world. Of the people in it. Of what I have seen happen when children are not protected. Because I have lived through it, because my own brother did things I still cannot say out loud without trembling.

I grew up in a modest two-bedroom apartment with my family. My mom was always hustling, running side businesses, and doing whatever she could to keep us afloat. At one point, she took in two young girls to live with us and help out. Our home was cramped, but it felt safe.

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Then, while I was away at university, one of my mom’s relatives came to stay. She told my parents that my younger brother had made inappropriate advances toward her. I did not believe it. I could not. He was my brother. I grew up with him. He did not seem like someone who could do something like that.

Then one of the girls who lived with us confided in me. She told me he had raped her.

I was shattered, angry, and confused. I waited for my parents to come home and told them everything. My dad was furious and disciplined him harshly. I apologized to the girl, but it felt meaningless. I mean, what do you say to someone whose safety and body have been violated in your own home?

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Later, it was revealed that he had also abused the other girl staying with us. It was hard to comprehend and even harder to accept that he was that kind of person.

Eventually, we moved to a bigger house, and my mom arranged for my brother to live elsewhere. It was the right thing to do because we could not risk history repeating itself.

Years have passed. We have all grown, and life has moved on. But I have not. I cannot look my brother in the eye. I cannot forgive him. Somewhere out there, those girls remember him with pain, and that hurts me.

Now, as a mother, I see everything differently. I look at my daughter, and the urgency to protect my girl from abuse feels more personal than ever. I see the world differently because of him.

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So I am saying this as a mother and as someone who has seen what can happen when we are not careful.

Please be careful when boys and girls live together. What feels normal might not be safe. Do not send your daughters to stay with relatives or friends unless you are sure they will be protected, and make sure your children know they can talk to you. That you will listen and that you will believe them.

Because abuse does not always come from strangers. Sometimes, it is closer than we think

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