I need some guidance on a matter that has been weighing heavily on my heart for some time now. It has to do with an acquaintance of mine who has become my roommate. His name is P.K. He used to be someone I held in high esteem but living with him has drastically altered my perception of him.

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Usually, people say that no matter how sad someone’s story is, don’t let them move in with you. Well, I should have taken that advice. When P.K. sent me a message saying he was homeless, maybe I should have empathised with him. But the truth is that it is not in my nature to do that.

According to him, his landlord evicted him and he didn’t have anywhere else to go. I felt this was a situation that could happen to anyone. It was this kind of compassion that led me to take him in. Shortly after he moved in with me, he lost his job.

I work as an administrator in a highly respectable company. We were hiring at the time but my fellow man was out of work. As a man, I know how difficult it is to not have a source of income. I didn’t want P.K. to suffer that fate. So what did I do? I used my position to help him secure a job at my workplace. I figured if he was financially stable, he would find a place soon and move out of my apartment.

He didn’t disappoint me at work. He performed all his duties diligently. My problem was his behaviour outside work. He made my life at home very difficult. He has unpredictable mood swings. One moment we’re having a pleasant conversation, and the next, he acts cold and distant.

His mood swings aside, he does not contribute in any way to the household. I shoulder all the expenses. I am talking about food, utilities, and everything in between. I have no idea what he does with his income.

One of the traits I didn’t notice until he came to live with me was his pride. He hates to be corrected. No matter how wrong he is, he becomes rude and unnecessarily proud when corrected.

He is the kind who likes to keep to himself. This is not a bad thing but it becomes when he refuses to greet people and distances himself from work colleagues. At home, he leaves his dishes unwashed, uses my personal items without permission, and has even thrown away some of my belongings without informing me. When I tried to point him in the right direction, he got upset and treated me like the problem.

This is someone I’ve kept in my home for two years without charging rent. Even when I had to return to school, I gave up my room for him. Yet all I get in return is his cold attitude and indifference. He only acts nice when he needs something from me.

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I am naturally someone who cares deeply for others so I kept making excuses for his bad behaviour. However, the final blow came when he violated a workplace code. He was asked to apologise to a client for some miscommunication. That’s company policy. P.K. refused. His defence was, “No one can force me to do anything I don’t want to do.”

Now he wants to resign without any proper notice, even though his role is essential to the company.

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I’m not trying to force him to stay in the job. But if he’s walking away from that responsibility, I strongly feel he should also leave my house. I’ve endured more than enough, and it’s affecting me emotionally. I feel used and deeply disappointed.

Right now, I feel numb. I don’t know how to confront this situation without feeling guilty, even though I know I’ve gone above and beyond to support him.

— Paa T.

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