
On the first night of our honeymoon, my wife didn’t allow me to touch her. Instead, she made me get on my knees and beg to consummate our marriage. When she finally gave in, she lay there like a log of wood. It felt as empty as the tomb where Jesus was buried.
We married after a year of dating. I met her on Facebook, where her profile was a shrine to her faith. “God is good” “God is not a man that He should lie.” It was as if her entire identity was built on her faith. That caught my attention, but it was her rare beauty that forced me to reach out.
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When we started seeing each other, we felt it in our souls: we would stand at the altar and vow to be husband and wife until death.
That is why what happened on our honeymoon sent a shock down my spine. Still, I took it in good faith. I hoped that back home, the woman who spent her days preaching on social media would fulfill her marital duties. She didn’t even come close.
The one time she willingly allowed intimacy, she fell pregnant. Throughout the pregnancy, I stepped up. I washed clothes, cleaned the house, and cooked every meal. Before she could even reach for a pillow to adjust her back, I was there. My faith in us was slowly returning—until she gave birth and her mother moved in.
I didn’t know then that peace was about to become a visitor instead of a resident.
My mother-in-law came to help with the baby and stayed far longer than we agreed. Her excuse? She had been kicked out of her home and had nowhere to go. She asked her daughter, “Do you want to throw me onto the streets?” My wife fell for the bait and insisted she stay. At first, I didn’t mind. She was my wife’s mother, which made her mine, too.
But now, I often forget I’m even married in my own house.
Her mother makes every decision. She tells her daughter how to love me—and when not to. I even overheard her in the kitchen saying, “Why are you serving your husband first? This is the 21st century; haven’t you heard of the ‘change’?” It took me a moment to realize she was weaponizing feminism against our marriage.
The disrespect has become a pattern. When I buy groceries and they run out, they buy replacements and hide them and wouldn’t mind me going hungry. My wife has never helped with my chores. If I leave my laundry outside and forget it, she’ll let it rot in the rain before she lends a hand.
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Once, she even accused me of stealing her money. When I told her I hadn’t seen it, she threatened me: “If I don’t find that money, I’ll take the matter to the gods.” That statement alone made me lose my temper.
Honestly, I feel like I’m watching a movie. My own house is on fire and I’m just standing there in shock. There’s zero respect, zero support, and zero partnership here. It’s wild watching my wife let her mother triumph over her. It’s like I’m being forced to pay for her husband’s sins.
How do I fix a marriage with no intimacy, no respect, and a mother-in-law running the show? I need to know how to build a healthy home from these ashes.
—JOB
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My brother, cant you divorce her. Did you marry her or she married you. Or youve been taken to the gods. This is no marriage. Leave.
True.
Why do you people always think of divorce at the slightest mistake. Marriage does not work like that. Marriage is the institute of two forgivers. You’ve got to see an elder or a therapist.
Mr.Job,are you a man or woman?you’ve spoiled my day just by reading your story
man up buddy
first let your in-law leave the house and to your wife, have a conversation to address any concerns. if she doesn’t change then u have the right to distance yourself for a while
Divorce must be the least option
First for you to rebuild your unlaw must leave. Then have a serious conversation with your wife as the head of the house. If things don’t improve then seek counsel from the elders especially a woman who will be able to yalk to your wife. If things still don’t change seek a separation but this isn’t cause for divorce. But keep your unlaw out of your house. If your wife wants to see her let her visit her mom. That’s the only way you will regain control in your house.
First, send your in law packing.
Second, discuss how you feel with your wife.
Thirdly, if you don’t see any headway after your discussion seek counselling from a professional counsellor.
Fourth, change her sim card warn never to discuss her marriage with her mother else, she will find herself in her mother’s house
Fifth, shower all your love unto your child to get him/her to your side so that the child listen to you and you alone. Such women breed insolent children Ezekiel 16:44
Lastly, get for the two of you a mature couple as your mentors/model.
All the best of marriage 🙏
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