Ama and I were in the same WhatsApp group. That is how we became friends. Soon enough, we went from chatting in the group to chatting privately. I liked her. I liked her sense of humor and the way she easily understood me. I wanted to meet her and see if the connection I felt over the phone would reflect when we are together. So I asked her out on a date. When we met, I felt more connected to her than I had ever felt with anyone else.
So we started seeing each other very often. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with her. It is not often that you meet a beautiful woman who lights you up with her mere presence, is it? Our friendship and our hangouts soon became a love affair. Our relationship is five months old, and I have come to love her with every breath in my lungs, and every pump of my heart. I love her; mind, body, and soul. With all that I am.
They say love is blind, but my love for her was all seeing. One thing I saw at some point in our relationship was her flirtatious nature. She didn’t do it openly. No, it was so subtle that you would have to know her to know that is what she is doing. So it bothered me when I found out she still spoke to her ex-boyfriend. I went into her phone and found out there were other guys besides her ex. Their conversations seemed harmless, but there underlying flirtations in there.
I am not one to swallow my displeasure, so I confronted her; “Why are you talking to other guys when you are in a committed relationship? Will you be okay if I start talking to other girls and leading them on?” She gave me a nonchalant look, “What are you going on about? All that matters is that I am with you. I will not leave you and go for any of those guys if that’s what you are worried about.” Her response did not sit well with me. The fact she didn’t even offer to stop talking to them out of respect for our relationship vexed me.
I am not one to feel insecure in a relationship but Ama’s behavior gave me trust issues. Just last month, I invited her to my place to spend a month with me. She didn’t mind staying alone at my place while I went to work every day. It turned out she kept herself busy with phone conversations with the boys I complained about. I didn’t confront her this time. I just decided to quietly watch her until I find irrefutable proof that she is doing something wrong.
One Sunday, I sent her to go and get some groceries. On her way, she met a man who happened to be one of my bosses. I don’t know what they talked about but they exchanged contacts. When she got home, she told me about it. I remember telling her not to entertain the man. I even advised her, “This world is not safe. You should be careful who you talk to. And also, don’t go about giving your number to strangers. It is not a good look.” She listened to me without any arguments.
Three days later, I decided to chat with her with my other WhatsApp number that she didn’t know about. I introduced myself as the man she met on the way to the grocery store. Her response was warm but she did not lead this person on. Rather, she told me (her boyfriend), that the man she met on the way to the grocery store has started chatting with her. Although I was the one posing as the man, I advised her to be careful.
Posing as the grocery store man, I expressed interest in her. She made it clear that she was not interested in me, and that she had a boyfriend. I was impressed by her response and left her alone for two weeks. Last week, I started chatting with her again. I asked to see her and she answered, “Actually, I don’t live around the grocery store we met at. I was visiting my boyfriend who lives there. Now, I have gone back to my place.” By then she had gone back to her place so it was the truth. “So far she is passing all my tests,” I said to myself, as I decided to intensify my efforts.
Still posing as the grocery store man, I applied pressure at all the right places. I said the things I knew would move her. I poured my heart out to her as though I would not live to see another day if she did not agree to be my girlfriend. To my utter surprise, Ama accepted the proposal. I would have been okay if she had ended it there. What pained me was the image she painted of me (her boyfriend).
According to her, our relationship has not been working for the past two weeks. She said we don’t talk or text each other. While she was texting that to me (the grocery store man) on my other WhatsApp, she was talking to me (her boyfriend) on the phone. She thought she was playing two men, but all along she was talking to just me.
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I was too hurt to confront her at once so I waited till yesterday to reveal my true identity to her. When she found out that I was the same person as the grocery store man she started apologizing. Right now, the love I have for her is buried underneath pain, betrayal, and confusion.
I ask myself if she would have truly dated the grocery store man had he been the one who proposed to her. The thought of it is like a knife sticking out of my chest. I don’t know if I should forgive her and give her a second chance or if I should just let her go. I am dying slowly of a broken heart. Please, I need your advice.
—King
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Don’t take her back. Once a cheat always a cheat. Mind you is just a small fire that burns the whole Bush. But if you want her back Don’t trust her fully. Trust her as a mere mortal. She is some one that can be easily influenced. That too is a bad quality, two she is some one that is not truthful another red flag. If you get back with her prepare for something worse. Such woman your mother will not even accept her into the family. Because what you saw on her easily your mom will spot it the moment she sees her. You can not change someone who is not willing to change. She flirts with men lightly but mind you if she does not flirt with them they won’t. She is disrespecting you and her self. She is cheap such woman we don’t Marry her kind. She might even get pregnant by another man and give the pregnancy to you. Be wise and run. She is not worth your pain ,tears etc. If you are willing to forgive her be ready to bear all the disrespect, pain ,cheat etc but ask your self is she worthy of you. I bet you the answer is no. But you can put her to the test. She is not the only woman on earth look some where else.
Let her go. With all the flirtation that she is involved in and the chat between the supposed grocery store man it’s better to let her go. Why is she involved with so many men? Let her go.
Our elders say when you go snooping under the eyes of a corpse you will find a ghost. You set out on a mission to strike gold even if there was none. You probed, probed and probed until you found what you waned, eh? Ask yourself if you would have passed the test had an anonymous lady expressed interest in you online and persistently so. What was your relationship with her while you were doubling as Sherlock Holmes? Notice that she explained that in the past two weeks you had changed. Search you heart truthfully if it’s not true. You refuse to admit it but you have serious trust issues. If anybody needs an apology it is her not you. If she were my sister, I would advice to dump you at once. Useless man!
Thank you very much. I thought same. The guy has real big trust issues. And the sooner he realises it..the better
On point
What exactly were you hoping to achieve when you posed as the “Grocery man”? Initially she declined the proposal yet you still went on using all the tactics you knew will get her to break. You’ve got what you wanted now. You must be really proud of yourself. Ma guy, you are very immature for doing that
Don’t forget that she is not married to you. As a single woman, she has the right to shop around before she settles down. She can’t lean on you 100% at this stage. And I will also advise you not to lean 100% on her until both of you agree to marry. You are too much into her. Pull back a little, if possible, but don’t leave.
Borsu ,run !! If you take her back , you will share your story here again .
1. I usually tell people, if checking ur partners phone will save you a lot of stress and headache and to also know what they’ve been doing behind your back, plz check it and be alright. 2. It’s a little of both. Women don’t fall in love with men just to be nice. They fall in love with a man because there’s something in it for them. Maybe the guy is good looking? Maybe he has money. Maybe he drives a cool car. Maybe he has a big wang and legendary sexual prowess. Maybe he’s funny. Maybe he’s a good father. Maybe, maybe, maybe. There’s usually some aspect of the guy that the woman realizes she’ll be getting a good deal on. 3. The ratio of a women to men is 8:2, Let that woman go, it’ll hurt you so bad. She’s going to do it again and you might not find out, or it might take you forever to find out. Once a woman finds someone better, she’ll leave you without looking back.
Lastly, I found out my Ex was cheating on me with a married guy. A guy that’s just 3 bus stops away from where I live. I later found out she was sleeping with the guys brother. She slept with their friend and also has a thing with her so called bestie. Guess what, All 4 guys know each other. Gos exposed her during the Covid-19 period. I was shattered and heartbroken. We decided to end things but after 9months, we came back and decided to give it a try. Again, I went through her phone and realized she was sleeping with all kinda guys that period we took that break. I saw nudes and all kinds of videos she was sending to guys, going out all night with guys and all. This gal has over a dozen guys she flirts with on a daily basis. I never saw any on her chat apart from sex, how they wanna eat her up, do all kinds stuffs with her, how some guys use and see her as their sex make and all. I confronted her and she apologized and said she will stop it. Last year, one of those guys was planning his marriage with her, this guy told her he’s been wanting to fvck her cos he wants to know how her moaning sound will be, she was just laughing and saying sure no problem since the guy said he will lodge in a hotel, they’ll go all night after going to hangout and drink. She loves to drink, she takes shisha, she smoked before, not sure if she started again. I confronted her again, yet she said it’s not what I think. See, whatever you allow will surely continue. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If your partner tell lies, she’ll cheat. If she cheats, she’ll lie. LET HER GO, DONT EVEN THINK BOUT IT TWICE. It’ll hurt you but at the end of the day, you’ll be fine. Learn from my story.
You finally got what you were looking for. Weldone👍