Ama and I were in the same WhatsApp group. That is how we became friends. Soon enough, we went from chatting in the group to chatting privately. I liked her. I liked her sense of humor and the way she easily understood me. I wanted to meet her and see if the connection I felt over the phone would reflect when we are together. So I asked her out on a date. When we met, I felt more connected to her than I had ever felt with anyone else.

So we started seeing each other very often. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with her. It is not often that you meet a beautiful woman who lights you up with her mere presence, is it? Our friendship and our hangouts soon became a love affair. Our relationship is five months old, and I have come to love her with every breath in my lungs, and every pump of my heart. I love her; mind, body, and soul. With all that I am.

They say love is blind, but my love for her was all seeing. One thing I saw at some point in our relationship was her flirtatious nature. She didn’t do it openly. No, it was so subtle that you would have to know her to know that is what she is doing. So it bothered me when I found out she still spoke to her ex-boyfriend. I went into her phone and found out there were other guys besides her ex. Their conversations seemed harmless, but there underlying flirtations in there.

I am not one to swallow my displeasure, so I confronted her; “Why are you talking to other guys when you are in a committed relationship? Will you be okay if I start talking to other girls and leading them on?” She gave me a nonchalant look, “What are you going on about? All that matters is that I am with you. I will not leave you and go for any of those guys if that’s what you are worried about.” Her response did not sit well with me. The fact she didn’t even offer to stop talking to them out of respect for our relationship vexed me.

I am not one to feel insecure in a relationship but Ama’s behavior gave me trust issues. Just last month, I invited her to my place to spend a month with me. She didn’t mind staying alone at my place while I went to work every day. It turned out she kept herself busy with phone conversations with the boys I complained about. I didn’t confront her this time. I just decided to quietly watch her until I find irrefutable proof that she is doing something wrong.

One Sunday, I sent her to go and get some groceries. On her way, she met a man who happened to be one of my bosses. I don’t know what they talked about but they exchanged contacts. When she got home, she told me about it. I remember telling her not to entertain the man. I even advised her, “This world is not safe. You should be careful who you talk to. And also, don’t go about giving your number to strangers. It is not a good look.” She listened to me without any arguments.

Three days later, I decided to chat with her with my other WhatsApp number that she didn’t know about. I introduced myself as the man she met on the way to the grocery store. Her response was warm but she did not lead this person on. Rather, she told me (her boyfriend), that the man she met on the way to the grocery store has started chatting with her. Although I was the one posing as the man, I advised her to be careful.

Posing as the grocery store man, I expressed interest in her. She made it clear that she was not interested in me, and that she had a boyfriend. I was impressed by her response and left her alone for two weeks. Last week, I started chatting with her again. I asked to see her and she answered, “Actually, I don’t live around the grocery store we met at. I was visiting my boyfriend who lives there. Now, I have gone back to my place.” By then she had gone back to her place so it was the truth. “So far she is passing all my tests,” I said to myself, as I decided to intensify my efforts.

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Still posing as the grocery store man, I applied pressure at all the right places. I said the things I knew would move her. I poured my heart out to her as though I would not live to see another day if she did not agree to be my girlfriend. To my utter surprise, Ama accepted the proposal. I would have been okay if she had ended it there. What pained me was the image she painted of me (her boyfriend).

According to her, our relationship has not been working for the past two weeks. She said we don’t talk or text each other. While she was texting that to me (the grocery store man) on my other WhatsApp, she was talking to me (her boyfriend) on the phone. She thought she was playing two men, but all along she was talking to just me.

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I was too hurt to confront her at once so I waited till yesterday to reveal my true identity to her. When she found out that I was the same person as the grocery store man she started apologizing. Right now, the love I have for her is buried underneath pain, betrayal, and confusion.

I ask myself if she would have truly dated the grocery store man had he been the one who proposed to her. The thought of it is like a knife sticking out of my chest. I don’t know if I should forgive her and give her a second chance or if I should just let her go. I am dying slowly of a broken heart. Please, I need your advice.

—King

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