My best friend’s childhood friend came from abroad and dated her. She thought she had found the love of her life but the guy had a different agenda. He had come to town and wanted a lady he could stroll with and eventually sleep with. To him, it was just a game but to Philippa, she thought she had found love.

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This guy from abroad got intimate with her, recorded it and shared the video with my friend. My friend also showed the video to other guys until one day I also got to see the video on my friend’s phone. By then, the guy had gone back abroad. Everything was on display in the video, even her soul and hidden desires were showing.

While watching the video, my friend was running commentary on the side. “You see, sisters, we are all here but she won’t give you the thing to eat da! Bro came from abroad nooor, see what sister is doing with him.”

To be honest with you, I watched the video without any judgment. If I did, I questioned why the guy would give such a video to a friend to see but, deep down, I loved what I was seeing. Philippa’s dedication and commitment in the video were unmatched. All my life, no woman had done what she was doing in the video. Just watching the video, my body was rising to the occasion, as if it had been invited to the occasion without an invitation letter.

“Noor, this girl is good. I will do everything to get to experience her too.”

I didn’t think about love. I didn’t think about falling in love with her and starting a relationship with her. All I wanted was a piece of what I saw in the video.

I started stalking her. I would intentionally bump into her and start a conversation. I followed her to a wedding and pushed myself to sit next to her. She asked, “Oh, you know them?”

The answer in my head was, “No, I know you,” but what came from my mouth was, “Yeah, I know the guy very well.”

We talked in the church and followed it up at the reception. Before I left, I took her number and said, “Who knows, the next people to wear a suit and a wedding gown could be us.”

She smiled infectiously while giving me her number.

We started talking. While we talked, I thought about what I saw in the video and how I couldn’t wait to experience it too.

She said she had a boyfriend but the guy had gone back abroad and hadn’t reached out again, so she didn’t know if she was still in a relationship. I made it my mission to let her know that such people didn’t deserve to be in a relationship.

“If you love someone,” I said, “no matter where you go, the distance between you and them shouldn’t change what existed between the two of you.”

It was very slow and gradual but what I had was patience. I didn’t come from abroad. A local guy has to take his time.

It took me close to four months before I got her to even think about me as a friend. By the time we shifted gears to the talking stage, what I saw in the video had even faded from my eyes.

Eventually, I got her to say yes to a relationship. Even then, she came with the caution that we should take things slowly. I spent a lot of money on dates. While I spent, I was telling myself, “The day I get you, you’ll pay for everything I’ve spent on you in bed.”

But then, that friend on whose phone I saw the video had caught wind of me dating Philippa. He was shocked that I could fall for someone whose video we had both watched.

I told him, “Bro, you should know the game by this time. I’m only going to hit some and bounce.”

He responded, “When you’re done, let me know so I also get my share.”

The first night wasn’t awesome but she had presented such an awesome personality through it all that, by that stage, I had started to see her differently. I didn’t leave. I wanted to try again and see if I could get her to the level I saw in the video. The next time was just normal. No salt. No spice. But good enough to make you wonder.

By the time I realized I had stopped counting and was just enjoying her company, I also realized that I was deeply in love with her. If I didn’t hear from her in a day, I felt incomplete. I felt lighter, like something heavy and precious had left my body. So I kept going until one day I saw myself making future plans with her.

I had known her for over a year but had dated her for four months.

I talked about my tomorrow and I included her. I took a photo with her and saw myself framing it and hanging it on my wall. My friend saw it and burst out laughing. I told him it was part of the strategy to get her. I didn’t want to accept it but I was deeply gone.

My friend kept asking me, “Bro, what’s up? Why are you still there?”

I responded, “She says she won’t let me hit until marriage ooo.”

He screamed, “Tweaaa, you see girls. She’s giving it to you as an expensive treasure meanwhile someone hit, used and bounced as if he picked it from the floor. Shun her matter. Why are you still following her?”

The greatest threat to my relationship right now is this friend who knew right from the start the aim of this relationship. Sometimes I’m even scared he would tell her about the video and the reason I came into her life just to destroy us.

He hates the fact that she’s stretching me, from the picture I painted for him, while she gave it cheaply to the abroad guy. I tell him I’ve given up on her but we are currently friends. He doesn’t believe me because I’m still with her and she comes to visit and all.

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My question now is, should I confess to my friend that I’m in love with her and even planning to marry her? Or should I rather confess to her about the video I saw and tell her my intentions then and my intentions now?

Which route is better? Which one is safer?

Now I’m getting more than I saw in the video but it’s not only about sex anymore. I’m emotionally invested and want this for the long haul.

—Kobina

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