I Pay My Sister’s School Fees, but All She Wants Is to Become an Influencer

Our parents are old and retired. They did their best to educate us, but they no longer have the financial strength to support my younger sister through university. When Eme gained admission, I took responsibility for her education. I pay her school fees, hostel fees, and other academic expenses. I buy her books and send her pocket money every month. Whenever she needs something important, I’m the first person she calls.

I don’t earn enough to do all these things comfortably. Sometimes, I postpone my own needs to make sure she has everything required for school. I don’t complain. I want my sister to have opportunities I struggled to get.

READ ALSO: My Fiancé Threatened My Life When He Realised I Was About to Cancel Our Wedding

She is now in her second year. Some time ago, she developed an interest in becoming a social media influencer. She started posting videos on her WhatsApp status, then moved to TikTok and Instagram.

I didn’t discourage her. I thought it was a good thing, provided she took her studies seriously. Then one afternoon, she called asking me to buy her an iPhone because it had better video quality. When she mentioned the price, I laughed. I reminded her that I hadn’t changed my own phone in eight years because there were more important things to spend money on.

“Eme, do you know how much I struggle to pay your fees? Even if I were selling myself on the streets, I wouldn’t have that kind of money to buy you an iPhone. Concentrate on your studies.”

A few months later, I visited her at school. She came to meet me holding an iPhone 15. I asked who bought it for her. She told me that since I hadn’t bought it, I had no right to question where she got it. I looked at her in disbelief. “Eiii, Eme. Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?”

When I followed her to the hostel, I found more things I couldn’t explain. There was a ring light, expensive clothes, shoes, and beauty products arranged around her room. I knew how much allowance I gave her. I also knew these things were beyond what she could reasonably afford.

When I questioned her, she gave vague explanations about opportunities she was getting through content creation. I called our parents that evening. I explained what I had seen and asked them to advise her. I wasn’t against her becoming an influencer, but I was worried about where the money was coming from.

I also made it clear that I would withdraw my support if she continued hiding things from me. My parents promised to speak to her. For a while, everything seemed normal. Then her birthday approached. She called asking for money for a professional photoshoot. She wanted beautiful pictures to build her personal brand. I laughed again. I told her that I couldn’t afford to sponsor a photoshoot when I was already struggling with her academic expenses.

She accused me of refusing to support her dream and reminded me that one day she would become successful. On her birthday, the pictures appeared online. They were beautiful. She wore expensive clothes, her makeup was professionally done, and everything looked carefully planned. She even sent me some of the pictures to post on my status.

I was beginning to feel that my sister and I were living in different financial realities. A few weeks later, I visited her hostel without informing her. Her roommate was around, but Eme wasn’t. When I asked about her, the lady explained that my sister hadn’t been at the hostel for more than four days.

I called her immediately. She claimed she was around campus and insisted that her roommate was lying. I stood outside the hostel for some time, wondering what was happening to the little girl I had worked so hard to support. I wasn’t expecting her to account for every movement. She was an adult. But if she could disappear for four days and lie about it, what else was she hiding?

That day, I nearly stopped everything I was doing for her. I thought about the sacrifices I had made. There were months when I barely had enough left after sending her money. Sometimes, I denied myself things I needed because I didn’t want her to suffer.

Our parents intervened again. They spoke to her extensively and pleaded with me not to abandon her education because of her behaviour.

I told myself that perhaps she was still young and would eventually understand the value of what I was doing.

Then came the school fees incident. I raised the full amount and sent it directly to Eme to pay. During her examination period, she called in distress. She hadn’t paid her fees. When I asked where the money was, she said she had misplaced the amount. How could she misplace an amount I put on her MoMo?

I was furious. I told her I wouldn’t pay again. After the call, I checked her social media pages. Around the period her school fees supposedly disappeared, Eme had been travelling to hotels and resorts, creating videos and reviewing their services. Some of her posts gave the impression that these establishments had invited her to promote them.

Then I noticed the phone she was holding in the videos. She had upgraded from an iPhone 15 to an iPhone 17. I looked at my old Samsung. The screen was scratched, and the battery barely lasted a full day. For eight years, I’d postponed replacing it because I always had something more important to pay for. Often, that important thing was Eme.

Eventually, she managed to pay her outstanding fees and write the examinations. I don’t know where she got the money. She hasn’t explained, and I haven’t asked. But I’ve made a decision. I’m no longer paying her school fees, hostel fees, or monthly allowance. She’s already a woman who can manage her own affairs.

What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?

My parents are unhappy about my decision not to support her again. They’ve pleaded with me to change my mind. They keep reminding me that she’s my younger sister and that her future is important.

I know her future is important, but what about mine? When do I get to save for myself, replace things I need, or enjoy the money I work so hard to earn?

This time, I’ve told my parents that nothing they say will change my mind. Eme can handle her own life. The annoying thing is, she knows the decision I’ve taken about her, but she doesn’t care. She hasn’t called to say sorry or beg me to continue helping her, and that tells me she’s in a better position to do things for herself.

It’s my parents who are worried. They call every morning begging me, and in the evening, they preach to me about forgiveness. I tell them, “I don’t have a pesewa to give that girl.”

Am I being too hard on my sister?

—Mildred  

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******