After my baby daddy’s marriage fell apart, he decided to come after mine. We broke up 12 years ago, and I got married two years later. Once in a while, he would call to ask after his child. It wasn’t constant communication, so I allowed it till our boy was old enough to talk to him without my involvement.
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Regardless, he still found reasons to talk to me. I don’t know what happened or how it happened but I heard that he got a divorce. After that, his communication changed. He started telling me that we should get back together. “I don’t care that you are married, I still love you.”
In the beginning, I blocked him. I didn’t want to give him the faintest idea that I was interested in that kind of talk. He didn’t care though, he contacted me with another number and continued to pester me to leave my husband for him. He apologised for the past. Said he’d do things differently. Made grand promises of things he would do for me if I took him back. I made it clear I wasn’t interested, and then I blocked that number too.
If there’s one thing about Tom, he interprets, “No,” as “Try harder.” He is not one to stop until he gets what he wants. At some point, I had to change my number and cut him off from our son, just so he wouldn’t have any access to me. It didn’t work. He still found me.
I have lost count of the numbers I have blocked from him. Whenever he calls with a new number, I block it but, he is like an infestation of cockroaches. You crush one, only to find that they never stop coming.
I got my dad involved when I ran out of options. My dad warned him to stay away but Tom didn’t budge.
Late last year, I couldn’t take it anymore. When he called me while I was with my husband, I gave the phone to hubby. I told him, “I have done everything I can to shake him off but he won’t stop. Maybe if you talk to him as the man in my life, he’ll listen to you.”
When Tom heard my husband’s voice he asked him, “Why are you about to fight with me because of a pro$titute. Only an unserious simp would have time for a woman every man has had.” Then he hung up.
My husband barely spoke to me after that phone call. He allowed something Tom only said to spite him to get to him. I thought the two of them talking man to man was a good idea but it has disrupted the peace in my home.
Hubby has changed drastically. Every little misunderstanding we have earns me the insult, “You are a town helper.” Now, he looks at me with disgust.
I don’t deserve this kind of behaviour. I’ve been a loyal, faithful and respectful wife all these years. Did he not know me at all?
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While my marriage is sinking, Tom is still in the background, refusing to go away. His new argument is that my husband is immature. “He is not a man. He is a boy who cannot think for himself. Leave him and come to me.”
Even if he was the last man on earth, I would never go back to him. My concern is, how do I restore calm in my house? I know now that I made a mistake when I let him talk to Tom. How do I fix it? How do I get him to look at me with love and respect again? I miss the days when we were happy.
—Joana
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#SB
The only right thing your pest of an ex said right is your husband is indeed immature, cos after spending years with you if he can change just because of the utterance of a bitter ex then you are damned .
I do not think you made a mistake, normally you should told him early when you ex started pestering you. All is not lost since you said you informed your Dad and he talked to your ex, he is the best person to talk to your husband to let him how long your ex has been disturbing you. Next time your ex call try and record him and play back to your husband to listen.
I wish you all the best
Your ex is evil and you need to block him permanently! Get the police involved. If he persists he will end up behind bars where he rightfully belongs.
It’s just unfortunate that you have married a fool. Your baby daddy is a bad person with stalker tendencies, but he completely called your husband when he said that he was immature.
How can a man who you’ve been married to for 10 years be giving you attitude because of a random statement from an ex? If you’re really a prostitute, then why is Tom trying so hard to get you back?
His insanity aside, Tom has helped you expose a vital issue in your marriage.
You did right making him talk with your husband. Just let your husband know your ex is more useless than he made you appear before your husband because he still wants a town helper for a wife whiles there are dozens of virgins around.
Once that point is made clear to your husband by recording every of his calls to you and forwarding to your husband then involve the police for harassment with evidence of same recordings you have of your conversations
Involve God and may God come through for you.