I’ve been cohabiting with my partner for almost two years. Last month, I found out he was seeing someone else. When I confronted him, he didn’t deny it. “It happened twice,” he confessed. I didn’t feel any better hearing his admission. I have been nothing but loyal to this man. Why would he choose to break me like this? Oh, it hurt very badly. Especially, when I asked myself if the other lady was the reason he cancelled our wedding.
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We had been making plans for almost a year. Everything was set — invitations, venue, everything. Then three weeks to the D-day, he suddenly cancelled our plans without telling me why. I was devastated but he assured me our relationship wasn’t over. He just needed time to put a few things in order. We would have been married in May if he hadn’t pulled the brakes.
I didn’t leave him after that. I am still living with him even though I caught him cheating. He keeps giving me empty promises when it comes to when we will get married. He says he loves me and wants to be with me, but I’ve lost all trust in him.
Sometimes I think about forgiving him and pretending it never happened, but the most annoying part is how he protects that girl.
The pictures they took together, which I had downloaded and kept in the Hidden Folder on my phone, he went into the phone and deleted them. He claims there’s no need for me to have those photos because he is no longer seeing her.
All I ask for is proof that indeed, they are no longer together, but he is not able to do that. Instead, he has tightened the security on his phones. It makes me believe he’s still with her, and he is lying about it. Am I not wasting my loyalty on such a man?
When I think about the things I’ve sacrificed for this relationship… I am convinced I should have stayed single and explored the dating field rather than deciding to have a partner.
He tries to make me believe he has changed. He video calls me from work or when he’s in town to keep me updated, but honestly, I can’t trust him until he proves beyond a reasonable doubt that he is no longer cheating.
I am saying this because sometimes when I look at him, I feel he wants to settle down with me. But other times, he looks confused and
unsure of what he really wants. I’ve told him that if he loves that other woman, he should stop wasting my time and go to her.
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Our two-year anniversary is coming up in November. I’ve decided that if he still doesn’t seem sure about me by then, I’ll separate from him and give him space to make a clear decision.
In case you are wondering, I am not dependent on him. We’re both working and doing well financially. We live in an apartment and share the expenses equally (50/50). I’m a business owner. So leaving to get my own place is not a problem for me at all. I just want to make sure that I won’t be making a mistake when I finally walk out.
—Talata
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They say when you can get the milk free, why pay for cow? By moving in with him before marriage you’ve killed the interest he had? Didn’t your mother tell you? It’s over
When he called off the wedding without any reasonable explanation, not giving regard to you, your emotions, your family,
friends etc was when you should have moved out of the apartment. Who calls off an entire wedding only three weeks away from the date without a reasonable explanation.
It seems like your parents didn’t hold him accountable and you didn’t either.
Well, all is not lost.
Please move out as soon as possible and set boundaries. Give him clear timelines as well. But as for the other girl, rest assured he is still dating her. It’s not over. They are still together. So do with that information what you may but know it is not ovwr between them and if you dont take care, he will be staying with you, but will go ahead and marry her instead of you.
Talata, you’re the dumbest story/person I’ve read on this platform.
Talataaaaaaaa, please this man is waiting your precious time. Move out , get your own accommodation and concentrate on your life. You deserve better treatment than this my dear. Believe me you will get a man who will love you and cherish you. For him calling off the marriage means he doesn’t LOVE you so please make this decision and make it fast.
By the time he marries you its nothing new nothing exciting just depression and new mood swings so in his mind he is interestedin fresh meat out there someone who is keeping him on his toes and he feels alive again ….belive me walk while you still can he will break your heart sooner or later why force things….
I think women are taking this i am financially okay thing too far to the extent of paying 50 50 things with your man and moving in what what he has no position then in the house so he definitely will never feel like the provider with you some of the old morals and manners people please THEY STILL WORK IN SOME CASES.
Look at you now humiliating your family and yourself one he wont marry you two he stayed wifying you for a whole two years freeeeeeee of charge. You do wife duties freeeeee of charge…..this whole independent thing if you dont master it well well ladies you will always be on the loosing side.
SMH!
Even in marriages, men hardly take the initiative of divorce. Rather, they will show you premium shege and pepper 🌶. So that you yourself will run for your life. You should have left his sorry ass when he called off the wedding. What are you really doing cohabiting with a man when you can stay on your own. Please, you seen enough to leave that relationship. He is not serious.
Count your loss and move.