My husband would drive my car and bring it back empty and dirty. When I talked about it, he got angry and said if I were the one who drove his car, he wouldn’t have cared whether I brought it back empty or not. I responded, “Because I would never even do that. At least, I would replace the fuel that I used.”

His car had been in the workshop for several months. He either doesn’t have the money to fix it or is complaining about the lack of parts. Immediately I park mine, he would take the keys and off he goes.

I’m very strategic about my expenses. I know how much fuel I should buy. When I exceed my budget, I do the rest of my movement by trotro. It’s the same fuel I use to take the kids to school and bring them back. Often, my fuel gauge is blinking because my husband would waste my fuel and not replace it.

So I started hiding my keys. When he came asking for them, I asked him to pay for the fuel in the car before I handed over the keys to him. He asked, “Or you don’t know who you’re speaking to? I’m your husband.” I responded, “I know, but you won’t waste my fuel today.”

He nodded and walked backward until he stepped out and took an okada out of the neighborhood. He returned home very late at night. When I asked where he had gone, he responded, “Who are you to ask me where I went?”

Men Don’t Like It When Women Do The Paying

This was four months ago. He’s been giving me the silent treatment. Usually, he would do this and I would go to him and apologize but this time, if he wants to go the whole year without talking to me, I’m ready to be silent with him. He gives housekeeping money when he feels like it. I cook when he gives me housekeeping money. He’s here and I’m here but pride is also here, while his ego walks up and down the corridor.

Am I being petty for not apologizing?

—Phyllis  

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