Kwao and I started talking about marriage after many years of dating. It was one of those relationships that had survived storms and still found reasons to love harder. By the time we started talking about our wedding, we were madly in love with each other.

When you’re planning a wedding, even if it’s years away, you start preparing for it. So we began visiting important people to inform them of our decision and started making plans for our marriage. I was even bookmarking items I had seen around to make choosing things easier when the time finally came.

Then one morning changed the entire course of how I thought life was going to happen. I woke up feeling nauseous. I slept almost throughout the entire day. I used a pregnancy test kit, and it came back positive.

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Before I gave birth, he came with his people to perform the knocking rites and promised that he would marry me as soon as possible. I won’t lie, it gave me so much joy to hear those words from him. Despite the many stories I had heard about men becoming demons after a child comes into the picture, Kwao and I were still very much in love. Our relationship wasn’t only about the baby. We still loved each other, enjoyed our personal moments together, and made each other feel special. When I went into labour, he stood by my side until I was fully dilated and was wheeled into the ward to have our baby.

After the birth, however, Kwao started changing. He became distant. He doesn’t call like he used to, and we don’t do the things we used to do together. We no longer go on walks. He no longer writes me poems. Before I knew it, he had become too busy for me. I would call him, and he would be on another call. He wouldn’t call me back afterward. Sometimes it would take him twenty-four hours or even two days to return my calls.

Because of the knocking ceremony he had come to perform and his promise that he and his family would return after the birth of our child, my family has started asking questions.

“When is your husband coming?”

“When are we gathering for your marriage?”

They have no idea what is happening between us. I usually force a smile, continue with whatever I’m doing, and tell them a story about how they should relax because everything is on the way. I do that because I don’t know what else to say. As it stands, it looks like he doesn’t want to marry me. He hasn’t said those exact words, but actions speak louder than words.

One day, I asked him what was delaying the marriage, and he answered, “You aren’t working, so how can you help me marry you?”

I’m not working because our son is still very young. We had discussed this before, and I had made it clear that I would start working when he was a little older. I don’t even like staying at home myself, but the situation we found ourselves in required one of us to make that sacrifice, and I chose to do it. That conversation didn’t lead us anywhere. I was just as confused after asking him as I was before I brought it up.

Now, Kwao seems to care only about our son and not about me. His actions make me feel that way. The insults, humiliation, and disgrace I have received from my family and society are overwhelming. I do not pick up some calls from my relatives because all they will do is ask about him

I believe he is seeing someone else because of the way he behaves. When a man has fallen out of love with you and is in love with someone else, the signs are always there. They are staring me right in the face.

He doesn’t want to marry me, but he doesn’t want to let me go either. If he truly doesn’t want this relationship anymore, then he should come with his family and end everything properly so I will at least know that I am officially a single mother instead of being left hanging like this.

This whole situation has done so much damage to me. I have so many regrets.

I’m tired. I’m really tired. I’m hoping I’ll get a job soon so I can take care of my son too because I don’t think this man wants to settle down with me.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

I have talked to him. I have pleaded with him. I have preached. All he does is act as though my family and I are pressuring him, and I don’t want to keep doing that anymore. I’ve stopped bringing it up because of my mental health. For now, I’m taking care of my son the best way I can, and he’s also supporting us financially. For that, I am grateful, but I really don’t like how he keeps throwing me around like a football.

—KIKI

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