We attended the same high school. We were not friends in school. We didn’t even use to talk. Someway, somehow, we became Facebook friends. He proposed love to me but I didn’t accept it. I already had a boyfriend at that time.

Along the line, I caught my boyfriend cheating. His reason was, “I wanted something you were not ready to give to me. But she gave it to me.” I was so hurt. He didn’t even show any remorse for his actions. I had no choice but to break up with him.

When my relationship ended, Seyram came to me again with another proposal that I should be his girlfriend. This time around, I didn’t turn him down. I liked him. He always had a calm demeanor. Even though he is handsome, he didn’t have a bad boy reputation on campus.

Everyone who knew us knew we were a couple. You couldn’t keep him away from me if you tried. He would come to my class during break times. When school closed too, he would walk me to the dormitory. We attended preps together sometimes, and it was one of the happiest days of my stay in school. He was not the kind of person to touch me where I didn’t want. That’s what made me love him more. He was just good for me.

We were the perfect love birds until things changed. Seyram had to start attending preps in the Junior’s class because he was a prefect. I tried to spend time with him after preps but he always seemed busy. I only saw him during breaks. I was surprised that the guy who was all over me was all of a sudden too busy to spend time with me. I was no longer happy.

On the last day we wrote our WASSCE, this guy saw me and waved. It was obvious the relationship had curdled so when we went home, I broke up with him. He didn’t like it, “What’s wrong with our relationship that you are calling it off?” I explained that the long distance wouldn’t work. “Out of sight does not mean out of heart. People thrive in long-distance relationships and so can we,” he tried to persuade me. I didn’t believe him.

To me, we were over but according to him, we were only on a break. When I went to the university and got a boyfriend, he said I cheated.

I don’t know if it was fate’s doing or mere coincidence, but he later transferred to my university. Just around that time, my university boyfriend and I had to end our relationship due to religious differences. Even with that, I still didn’t get back together with Seyram.

After school, we ended up doing our national service in the same town. It’s not a big town. I was constantly running into him so I decided to let go of the past and be his friend again. Now, we’ve gotten close again.

He says he loves me but I don’t see it. I want my boyfriend to give me attention but this guy is the type who is all about, “I want to be in my corner.” He tells me he loves me but finds it difficult to visit me. I live alone but he lives with his brother so I am not able to visit him often.

He would rather go out with his friends than spend time with me. Sometimes when I ask to visit him he would say, “I won’t see you off when you come.” Even when he decides to see me off, he wouldn’t take me all the way to the bus stop. Is that how you treat someone you love?

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He rarely calls me. When I complain he tells me, “I am not the calling type. I prefer to text.” This is not the kind of relationship I want so it’s making it difficult for me to adjust to his way of loving.

Sometimes I don’t call or text him to help me stay away from him but he would send me messages like, “Babe, why are you ignoring me? Don’t you love me anymore?” He acts like the victim in the relationship. When I complain about these things, he tells me to stop. I’m not even able to voice out my worries because he doesn’t like it.

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

Sometimes I get tired. I told him I was going to tell him something and that he shouldn’t get mad. He behaved as if something bad had happened. He kept saying he thought I was going to break up with him. I love him so much that I don’t know what to do. When he is with me he tells me things about himself that he hasn’t even told his family. I know his schedule because he tells me. He is very transparent with me. So I trust him completely.

If only he was giving me the kind of attention I need, ours would be a perfect relationship again. Why is it so difficult for him to give me the attention I need? This whole thing is worrying me. Please advise me. Maybe because it’s happening to me, I can’t read between the lines. Has anyone experienced this kind of love before? How did it go?

—Rose

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