Billy and I met in 2007. I was an SHS leaver preparing to further my education while he had just completed university. Our mutual friend, Adjoa, introduced us. It was long ago but I remember exactly how I felt the first time I set my eyes on him. It was love at first sight, but it took a few weeks for us to start talking on the phone. Everything about him was so gentlemanly, I could not help but fall in love with him. He also said and did things to show that he loved me. But just to clarify things, I asked him, “Are you sure you don’t have a girlfriend?” He responded, “The only girl I have ever dated travelled abroad after we completed secondary school. I haven’t fallen in love with anyone else until you came along. And now all I can think about is how much you make me happy.” And that is how I became his girlfriend.

It would be nice to say that everything happened perfectly after that, but it wouldn’t be the truth. The first few months we were together didn’t feel right to me. Although I never caught him cheating, some of his actions were sketchy. The signs were too glaring for me to ignore. The secret phone calls, not answering calls after certain hours, and guarding his phone against me as if it contained national security information. It was just too much drama for me so I broke up with him.

He apologized several times but I refused to take him back. He even travelled to Kumasi with his friend to visit me on campus and apologize but I still didn’t take him back. Before he left he said, “You started university just a few days ago but you have already met small boys who have turned you against me. Okay.” That was not the case, because, throughout my four-year period on campus, I didn’t date anyone.

Billy kept pursuing me until one day I got tired and told him, “I have moved on, Billy. I have a boyfriend now so leave me alone.” “Oh, it won’t last, mark it somewhere. You and I are meant to be. So anyone who comes between us is just a placeholder.” One year after that he was still asking me to give him another chance. I felt he had changed over the years, so I gave him a second chance. Three months after we got back together he started talking about marriage. “Why the rush?” I asked him. He sounded sincere when he said, “I don’t want to risk you leaving me again.”

Two months before our wedding, I got a hold of his phone and couldn’t resist the urge to read his chats. I found a thread between him and Nana, his ex who moved abroad. I didn’t think that they were still in contact until that moment. If the things I found in the chat didn’t kill me then I doubt any tragic news would be able to do the job. I found out that shortly after we got back together,  Nana came to Ghana and she and Billy slept together. Nana went back to her country of residence and discovered that she was pregnant. At the time I saw the messages, their daughter was five months old.

When I confronted him he swore Nana meant nothing to him. “It was a mistake. It won’t happen again. She is not even here for it to be a problem.” My mistake was that even in my brokenness he was still the one whose arms gave me comfort. I was hurt by him, but we made love, after which I broke up with him. I couldn’t tell my family what he did, which means I couldn’t tell them the wedding was off. He also refused to tell his folks about the baby, let alone tell them I left him.

While I was gathering the courage to do the needful, and inform all necessary parties about the latest development, the worse happened. I found out that I was pregnant. That changed everything. I didn’t want to get rid of yet another pregnancy for him. I also didn’t want to be a single mother. When I told him he was happy, “Well, now you cannot get rid of me. The wedding will come off as planned.” Besides the pregnancy, I was still in love with him. It is why I went ahead and married him despite everything. Eventually, he told his parents about Nana and their daughter, but no one else in his life knew about them.

Three years into our marriage, I had our second baby and unfortunately,  lost my job. Just around that time, my husband decided to visit his child and meet her for the first time. I wasn’t comfortable with him going to see his baby mama but I also didn’t want him to be an absent father in his daughter’s life so I gave him my support. Before he left I took Nana’s number from his phone and had a conversation with her. She assured me that there was nothing romantic going on between her and Billy. But later Billy came to ask why I bothered chatting with Nana. “I told you that she doesn’t mean anything to me, so why won’t you believe me? She doesn’t even live in Ghana, so let go of your issues with her.” For the sake of my sanity, I resolved not to touch his phone again.

When he finally travelled, it was difficult to get hold of him. Either the network was bad or he was busy. Even when our child fell sick, he didn’t call. He only sent us money and a text. He was gone for three weeks. Upon his return, he told me he didn’t plan on living with his baby mama but he had to stay there and bond with his child. “I hope you didn’t sleep with her,” I asked him. He swore he didn’t, but I didn’t believe him.

Two months after his return, he said he had to travel to Kumasi to do some work for his friend, and that he would be back in two weeks. I played the good wife and packed his bags for him. But two nights before he left I found out that he had snuck into our boys’ quarters. So I got curious and followed him there. There I found suitcases packed with Ghanaian delicacies. The first thing he uttered was, “It’s not what you think. My friend is travelling to where Nana lives so I packaged these items for our child.” The moment he said that I knew that he was the one travelling there and not his friend. But I didn’t say anything. When it came time for him to go to “Kumasi,” he left.

I wanted proof that he wasn’t in Kumasi so I tried to call him on a video call. He refused to pick up and insisted we text. I then told him his child wants to see him. He couldn’t say no to that. And when he called, his background didn’t look Ghanaian. I was not surprised but it still hurt. I was broken. He started apologizing there and then. He said he went there for the sake of his child. He heaped lies upon lies, expecting me to believe him. I didn’t bother with him again until he came back with his shameful face. Things were awkward for a while but we eventually made up. I tried to convince myself that I had forgiven him but I got angry anytime I saw him. The only thing that calmed me is the fact that he is a good father to our children.

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It’s been three years since he last visited Nana and their child. People in our lives still don’t know that he has a child outside our marriage. He is trying his best to make us happy but I am not happy. Something happened again that convinced me that I need to leave him. It was two days after his birthday, and I just got itchy to touch his phone. What I found out was an eyesore. It was a chat between him and Nana.

“Billy, what do you wish for on your birthday?”

“I wish to have sex with you on the carpet over and over and over again.”

“Aww, I’ve missed you. Don’t worry, your favourite style will be waiting for you with more orgasms. Have you inquired about the visa?”

“I am working on it.”

“Please if you ever feel you no longer love me and you don’t want this relationship anymore, tell me. I can handle it.”

“Hey, don’t talk like that. No woman makes me feel the way you do. You are so sweet and you bring me peace. You truly are my soul mate.”

Nana also responded to the message with a long letter about their timeless love. Surprisingly, I am not even angry anymore. All I did was take screenshots of their chats. Billy lied and denied their relationship even though I had proof. The only thing he admitted to was sleeping with her. He said it was a drunken mistake that happened once. What he didn’t know was that I had photos that proved he gave her a ring. I was so tired of his sh*t. I had no choice but to involve his family. They told me, “No one in our lives knows about Nana and her child, so why are you stressing over them? They don’t matter. Just focus on your marriage.” I wanted to involve5 my family but his family asked me not to. They said it was a shame on them. I was pregnant then, but the stress of everything made me miscarry.

I Introduced Him To My Favourite Prostitute And He Snatched Her From Me–Beads Media

I wanted to move out but I had just started a job that wasn’t paying me much. So I stayed with the intention to save some money. However, I am pregnant again and almost due to deliver our third child. I don’t know the relationship my husband has with Nana anymore. But the last time I checked, she broke up with him. That one isn’t my concern anymore. I am just praying for safe delivery so that I will look for a better job, and move on with my life. These days when I see his wedding band on his finger, I feel like taking it from him and throwing it away because he doesn’t deserve it. I regret giving him a second chance. But what’s done is done. I just have to relocate and start afresh.

–Olivia

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