My husband and I became a couple in our third year in tertiary school, and we decided that we would get married right after national service. He was fortunate enough to secure a job immediately after service, but I was not as lucky.

At first, life was good. We were financially stable. There was food on the table, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our heads when we welcomed our first child. Today, we have three children, and life has become much harder. It keeps throwing punches at us from every direction, and there is barely any room to breathe.

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Sometimes, I blame myself for agreeing to settle down before securing a job. With three children to care for, I cannot apply for certain jobs because of the demands that come with them, and I also cannot afford to hire a nanny. As a result, I have become a stay at home wife.

Over the past years, I have tried my hands at different businesses, but each one has collapsed. The problem is that I am always taking money out of the business to support the family or help my husband meet one need or another. If I leave everything to him alone, the burden becomes too much to bear. This is not to say that my husband is not playing his part. He truly is. The reality is that raising a family has become incredibly expensive these days, and it takes the combined effort of both husband and wife to keep the home running.

Most of the time, I do not even want to ask my family for help because it would mean exposing my personal struggles to them, and I am not comfortable with that.

By now, I should have been teaching in a senior high school, but eight years have passed and every effort to get into the system has proved futile.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

So, if you are a woman who hopes to get married someday, please do everything you can to secure a job, build a business, or establish a reliable source of income before you settle down. Marriage is beautiful, but love alone is not enough. Financial independence may not solve every problem, but it gives you options, confidence, and a measure of security when life becomes difficult.

—Vivian

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