I just finished reading a story about a lady who got pregnant by a man she didn’t know was already married with two kids. As I read it, I felt my heart tighten a bit, because it reminded me so much of my own story.

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I conceived while I was on campus, in my final year. I was only 21. At the time, I was in a relationship with a fellow student. The moment he heard I was pregnant, everything changed. He made it clear he didn’t want the pregnancy. He tried every possible way to get me to remove it. I was scared something might go wrong so I didn’t do it.

He just shrugged and said, “Your pregnancy, your choice. Don’t forget the responsibility is yours too. Whatever happens is on you.”

I kept my pregnancy. I carried it full term. I graduated. Luckily, I found a good job. It kept me going.

Three weeks after I gave birth, I discovered that his father had a five-month-old daughter with another woman. Five months old. Meaning he knew he had a baby on the way before I got pregnant. Everyone around us knew except me.

I tried to involve his family, thinking that at least they would show some concern or speak sense into him. Nothing came of it. They were fully involved in the other child’s life — from conception till now — but my son? Nothing. He is currently four years old, but we have not received a single coin from his father or anyone connected to him.

I have raised my boy with my own hands. Every bill, every need, every school requirement, it has been God and me.

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Despite the challenges, I always tell my child that he is a gift. “God wrapped you gently and sent you to me. You are so special,” I never let him forget this. Truly, he is my gift. Keeping him was the best decision I ever made.

I just want to tell any woman who is struggling to take care of a child that has been abandoned or denied by the father that it gets easier. I know it’s hard but breathe. Things will settle.

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If you’ve given birth or chosen to keep the pregnancy then push away the negative thoughts that come with fear and betrayal. Embrace the journey with hope, and bond with the baby now.

One day, you will celebrate the decision you made. When that time comes, you will look into your child’s face, and understand why everything happened the way it did.

—Titi

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