I grew up with my father and my stepmother. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have known that my mother died when she was giving birth to me. My stepmother made sure I never forgot that fact. She was always in a hurry to throw it in my face. I was just a child living with her but she treated me as if I was her rival.

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She insulted me at the least provocation. Some of her insults were to remind me that I had no one in this world. “Do you know that your own grandmother rejected you?” She would taunt, “She says you are the reason her daughter died. That’s why she didn’t take you in when you were a baby. You are a painful reminder of what life took from her.”

Whenever she was angry, she would tell me that I would suffer in life. And she was always angry. I constantly wore a frown because of her verbal abuse and curses.

I did my best to love her like a daughter but her mind was already made up about me. Even when I told someone she was my mum, they didn’t believe me. Her actions were nothing maternal.

She wouldn’t buy me clothes and shoes. Even pants, she made me wear her “dross.”  Of course, it was always big. I had to tie both sides so it wouldn’t fall off. 

My father was often away for work. Regardless, our neighbours spoke to him about what happened in his absence. They advised him to take me away from my stepmother. He told me that he couldn’t. Where would he take me to?

Sometimes my teachers asked me if I was sure the woman was my mother. It was all because of the negative things she told them about me.

Things were so bad that I tried to end my life when I was 13. Thankfully, I didn’t go through with it. I know it was God who restrained me. In that moment, I resolved to hold on and keep pushing until things get better.

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As I grew older, I supported my siblings in different ways, and today they are all doing well. We get along well, but I didn’t get the opportunities they got in life. It’s fine though. I work hard. I do my best to live a life of contentment. It is my hope that someday I will get to where they are.

Now, I am in my forties. My self-esteem was damaged enough for it to affect my romantic relationships. I am still single at my age. Sometimes I still battle with the thought that I’m not beautiful enough. You know, my stepmother called me ugly many times.

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The only reason I don’t completely keep to myself is my knowledge that I am created in God’s image. It helps on some occasions. It gave me the confidence to believe people when they told me they saw leadership and beauty in me. So although I don’t have anything going on in my personal life, I take on leadership roles.

Despite everything she did to me, I greet my stepmother when I meet her, then I carry on. I know my destiny is not in her hands but in God’s. That’s why I have forgiven her. After all, I too need God’s forgiveness.

—Anoh

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