I told her that I didn’t mean what I said. I was just angry and filled with jealousy. However, words and things done in the heat of anger always leave a wound that apologies rarely fix. That’s why all my apologies have literally fallen on deaf ears. She does not even give me a listening ear, let alone hear what I have to say. I know I messed up but I love her so much that it is breaking my heart that she is not talking to me. If I lose her I will be miserable. This is why I am here to tell you how it all began in hope that you will help me apologize.

When I first met her, she was selling African print shirts for men. It was somewhere in 2021. That fateful day when she brought the shirts to my office to sell, I had no interest in buying them. My interest was in her, the lovely woman selling the shirts. So I bought one in order to warm her up to me. If you ask me I would say it was love at first sight. I just knew that we were meant for each other. I didn’t let her leave without taking her number.

I called and texted her in the days that followed and she was very receptive. The only problem was how she shut down every time I told her I was in love with her. She didn’t want to hear anything about the word love. She kept telling me, “You don’t know what you are talking about. How can you say you are in love with me when we just met?” I would respond by asking, “Do you not believe in love at first sight? Because I fell in love with you before I even held a conversation with you. There are some things you just know. It’s fate.”

I continued to push for her to accept my heart and my love and she continued to tell me I was playing with words I didn’t understand. After three months, I finally wore her down and she agreed to give our relationship a chance at love. She let me understand right from the beginning that she would not hesitate to walk away if I start to misbehave. And I also let her understand that I would not do anything to push her away. We have been fairly happy for the one and a half years we have been together. We are both imperfect so there were some rough patches along the line but we managed to sail through all of them smoothly.

Everything changed when I lost my job three months ago. This afforded me a lot of time to notice all the things about her business that I did not notice at first. I noticed that ninety percent of her phone calls and messages were from men. It made me feel insecure all of a sudden so I spoke to her about it. She assured me, “You have nothing to fear. These men are my clients. I sell male clothes so most of the people who buy from me are men. That’s why I have a lot of  men calling and chatting with me to make orders and inquiries.” I felt assured at first but the more I saw her talking to the men the more it chipped away at my confidence.

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I started thinking about the caliber of men she was meeting and the fact that I was newly unemployed. I started wondering if she would leave me for one of her clients. After all, I was her client when we first met until I pushed for us to become more than that. So I started complaining every time she got a call or text from a male client. I complained so much that she started arguing with me. I would tell her, “I don’t want you talking to those men anymore.” She would explain, “They are my clients. If I stop talking to them my business will collapse.”

Her explanations did not give me the assurance she sought to give me. So we continued to argue whenever the subject came up. And during one of our arguments, I lost control of myself and hit her. It was the first time I ever did anything like that, and I regretted it immediately. “I am so sorry,” I pleaded, “I don’t know what got into me. It will never happen again, I promise.” She saw how genuinely sorry I was and decided to forgive me. However, she broke up with me shortly after that. She said she gave it a lot of thought, and realized she couldn’t be with someone who was abusive. “You know me. I am not abusive. I just lost control but I promise it will never happen again.” It was not easy to persuade her but she took me back eventually.

My Husband Enjoys Watching The Nakedness Of His Mother–Beads Media

Three months after that incident, we had more arguments about her male clients. The last one happened this past Friday. I did not hit her when I lost control. Rather, I said some very hurtful words to her. I am not proud to repeat them but I told her, “You are going about chasing men, and when I complain, you say they are your clients. You must be mad.” After I said that she told me, “I am done with this relationship. Don’t come anywhere near my house, and don’t call me again.” She proceeded to block me from calling her. I am able to text her on WhatsApp but she doesn’t respond to any of my texts.

If I could, I would turn back the hand of time and eat my words to prevent them from coming out of my lips. But I can’t unsay what I said or undo what I did. All I have are apologies. I promise to be the man she deserves. I will change and stop complaining about her clients. I just cannot afford to lose her. Please I want you all to help me say sorry to her. She has every right to be concerned about my behavior but I will do better, I promise.

–Armstrong

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