I met Akosua in tertiary school in January 2019. When I met her she was coming from a difficult and toxic relationship. At that time too I was in a relationship but things weren’t cool between my girlfriend at the time and me. So I became friends with Akosuah. I gave her a listening ear anytime she wanted someone to talk to. I made sure I was always there for her.
I didn’t have any ulterior motives. It was just pure friendship. Along the line, my then relationship with my girlfriend ended. I was very heartbroken but Akosua was there to help me gather the pieces of my broken heart. Our friendship blossomed and we became very fond of each other.
Later that year, I started dating Akosua. By then she had also broken up with the guy she was dating at the time. Our relationship has been very sweet. To be honest, Akosua is the best lady I’ve ever dated in my life. She is caring, god-fearing, loving, sweet and humble.
I am not saying there haven’t been any problems. What I am saying is, that although we had our fair share of misunderstandings at a point, we solved it amicably. I loved her so much that I was determined to make things work between us.
In 2021 I started my internship in one of the hospitals in the middle belt of the country. Akosua is not from a family that is doing well financially so was struggling with accommodation by then. I was living alone. I could accommodate her and it would make things easier between us. There was no point in overthinking it. I asked her to move in with me.
I argued that it would make the commute to her place of work faster. “I am not here to disturb you so you will have your peace of mind,” I added. She agreed to my proposal and moved in. We’ve been cohabitating since then.
During this time she was working a job that wasn’t paying her much but was enough to keep her going, at least. I was also working so I was able to provide some basic things for her. We found a way to make living together work.
Along the line, I slipped up and cheated on Akosua with another lady in the town. I tried to cover my sins but she found out about it. It broke her. She was so heartbroken but with time, she forgave me. I worked on rebuilding the trust while we continued our relationship. I made a conscious effort not to find myself in a situation that would make me cheat on her again.
So imagine how I felt when I found out that my own Akosua was having an affair with another man from the town. She denied everything even though I had enough evidence to prove my claim. I love her so much so I let things slide. Besides, I was the one who brought infidelity into our relationship, and I didn’t want it to be what ended us.
We continued trying to make things work. Everything was going fine until I gained admission to further my education in a school in another region. I couldn’t commute so I had to leave town for school.
In as much as there was distance between us, I did my best to visit her as often as possible. Things were moving smoothly and I was so much in love that I started talking to her about marriage. I was planning for us to be married by early 2025. We were supposed to use this year to prepare ourselves.
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I thought everything was fine between us until this year (2024) I chanced on a conversation she had with a different man in the town. It was obvious in their chat that they were in a relationship and they’d had sex a couple of times. To say I was heartbroken is an understatement.
This time when I confronted her, she didn’t deny it. She couldn’t explain why she did it either. She only went down on her knees and begged me, “Please don’t leave me.” She called her mum and reported herself to her mother.
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Her mother made it clear she was disappointed in her but asked me to forgive her. For some time now she has been showing remorse. I want to believe that she has changed but this is the second time I’ve seen something like this. If she truly changed the first time then why did she do it again? How sure am I that she has truly changed this time?
I’m very confused. This is a lady I’ve been dating for the past four years and planning to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to leave her or if I should stay and move past this. This is a very difficult decision I am faced with. My mind wants to leave but my heart wants to stay. What should I do?
–Jadel
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Women who cheat, have crossed a certain Rubicon. It’s like serial murderers; after the first one, they become hooked. She won’t change. Deal with it.
It’s not simple for serious women to cheat so if she has done it twice, I suggest you end it with her nicely. But then how do you leave her when you paved the “cheating way”? All the same, forget about the 4 years you’ve been together and make a bold decision, else there’s a very high possibility that she’ll do it again and again and you’ll forever regret not ending it now. Good luck
Jadel, sorry for the situation you find yourself in. Bur you are right about something. One is that she is very vengeful. Thus may have resolved to cheat back. However, after doing it more than once, it is no longer revenge but her weakness. Perhaps this was the underlying cause of her fights with the previous boyfriend. The funny thing about unfaithful women is that most are very quiet and appear very respectful and humble but…..
Considering that you are currently very supportive to her and she is staying in your house and still going after other men when you are away in school for just a semester, you have to be a man and let her go. I can already sense that you two may have been raised with different values.
Jadel, you need to live that relationship. Stop that scarcity mentality where you believe Akosua is the only woman for you. There are many women out there who can love you better and have better qualities that her. If you still believe you can save the relationship, just imagine that she was screaming, moaning, saying “harder” and singing praises to not one, but two men. She couldn’t mention you name! Two men f**ked her. Get serious Jadel.