I came to spend a few weeks with my elder sister to help with her kids. She goes to work early in the morning and comes back very late in the evening. She lives with her husband and three kids between the ages of three and nine. These kids are used to me and follow me everywhere. I would be in the toilet, and they would bang on the door to complain.

I was bathing one morning when I felt like the bathroom door had been opened. There was soap on my face, and I couldn’t open my eyes, but I thought it was one of the kids looking for me. I mentioned all the names of the kids, and no one responded. By the time I washed my face and opened my eyes, the door was closed, and there was no one standing there.

I didn’t think much of it. I thought it was in my head. A few days ago, it happened again. This time around, I didn’t mention any name. I stooped with my back facing the door and fetched water to clean my face. When I opened my eyes, I saw the back of my sister’s husband quickly walking away.

Since then, I haven’t felt safe in the house. I’ve been moody all day, anxious, and constantly watching my surroundings. I keep asking myself questions.

“How long has he been doing that?”

“What does he want from me?”

“What’s the end game?”

Maybe he thinks I didn’t see him, so he’s going around normally and talking to me as if all were well. But I can’t act like nothing happened. Now, when he looks at me, I take it the wrong way. It’s like he’s looking at me naked. When he talks nicely to me, I feel malice behind his niceness. I don’t even feel comfortable being alone in the house with him anymore.

What scares me most is not knowing whether opening the bathroom door was all he intended to do or whether he might try something worse if he gets another opportunity. I don’t want to wait until something more serious happens before I take this seriously.

Should I talk to my sister about it? Or should I simply walk away and not come again? My sister needs help with the kids often, so not coming back again without an explanation won’t work. But right now, my safety has become my biggest concern. What do you suggest I do, for my own safety and the peace of my sister’s marriage?

—Adelaide

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