I started dating Blessing in 2021. I let her know right from the beginning that I was in for the long haul. She assured me she wanted something serious too. That was all I needed to hear. The next thing I asked her was to meet her family as a symbol of my commitment.
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I met her mom, attended her grandfather’s funeral, and sat through long family gatherings as if I was already a member of her family. They received me well. Treated me like a son. I was sure I had found home with them. And over the years, they proved to me that I indeed have.
When I got the chance, I also took her to my village to meet my mum and other relatives who were mostly from my mum’s side of the family. She kicked it off with them the moment she got there. I was happy with the ease she chattered about life with my mother. The two women would occasionally lower their pitch and then giggle like high school girls. It all felt right.
We were still on course with our marriage plans when I lost my job. I had to move to my village to figure out my next course of action. While I was there, I spent a lot of time applying for jobs.
Blessing wasn’t physically present with me but she made sure I understood that she had my back. Emotionally, she wasn’t present for me. That gave me all the hope to cling to in that low moment.
There was a particular week where one of our tenants went to work. I don’t know how the communication happened between him and his girlfriend but the girl showed up at the house in his absence. She came from afar too.
We all thought she was going to leave but I got a call from our tenant. He asked me to accommodate the girl for him till he closed. My family didn’t have a problem with it so I agreed.
Unbeknownst to me, someone tipped off my fiancée. They told her I had brought another woman into my room. That single moment set off a chain reaction.
She called me in the middle of the day, something she rarely does, and demanded a video call. I agreed without hesitation. I had nothing to hide, after all.
“Show me your room,” she said the moment the line connected.
I panned the camera around the room and she saw our tenants girlfriend. All of a sudden, she started shouting at me, “Who is she? You are cheating on me, right? I knew it.”
I tried to explain the situation to her but she didn’t accept anything I said. You should hear my sweet and lovely Blessing spitting insults at me. At a point I thought, “If this is how mean you can be to someone you love, then I don’t want to be your enemy.”
I tried to calm her down. I really tried. But she didn’t want to hear it. After “dealing” with me, she called my family. My mother and my uncle.
“After everything I have done for your son, he is entertaining another woman.”
What did she do for me? After I lost my job I tried to travel abroad. She supported me with a loan of GHC5000. In the heat of her anger, she brought it up. She asked my mum to retrieve her money for her, lest there would be dire consequences.
As if that wasn’t enough, she insulted my mother.
“If you didn’t raise him well as a son, I’ll put him in the right place.” This is what Blessing told my mum.
The way my mother described it, it felt like a slap in her face. My uncle who played a major role in my upbringing felt disrespected too. In fact, the whole family was disturbed.
Eventually, Blessing and I worked things out but things were never quite right between her and my people.
A few months ago, we started talking about marriage. I shared the news with my family, hoping they’d give us their blessing. But they shut it down. Flat out.
They reminded me of everything she had said, especially how she spoke to my mum. “We can’t welcome her into our family, no.”
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I couldn’t have gone against my family. So I broke up with her.
But now I find myself questioning that decision. Did I act too quickly? Did I let my family’s pain overshadow my love for her? Or did I do the right thing by choosing peace over future problems.
I honestly don’t know.
—Darlington
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#SB
You did well. She will not only disrespect your mom in front of you but others as well. She deosnt know how to talk to people in general.She will walk over you. The attitude of your woman is what is going to raise your kids. Letting her go is for the best.
Hmmm. Cant she forgive your girlfriend
I support the break up and i pray you get a cool headed girl. Her mannerism shouldn’t be overlooked.
Lo
So she doesn’t have the right to get angry? Marriage more than anything else is about forgiveness. She was wrong to blow up the way that she did, , but there’s no one in this world who doesn’t have bad character traits. If what happened after she thought that your relatives were helping you cheat on her is her worst character trait, then you’re a lucky man.
At the end of the day, you’re the one who will live with her, not your relatives. Many people have married women that their families approved of, only to end up bitterly regretting it. If you feel that she’s the one for you, then take her to your family and let her apologise to them for her actions. And if they can’t forgive her for a few words said in anger, then Blessing is not the only one with problems.
But for future reference, avoid accommodating strange women in your room. Was there no other place for the tenant’s girlfriend to stay? And who exactly ratted you out to your girlfriend? What did they tell her? That busybody probably blew things out of proportion.
It is good you let her go.
She should have found a way to apologize before it got to the point of taking marriage steps if she was cultured after you were able to bury your hatchet.
No amount of anger should make you insult anyone older than you, worse case, older enough to be your parent.
Won’t provocative situations arise again and again after marriage?