In our first year of dating, he told me he had plans to travel abroad for school. He said that for him to travel with peace of mind, he wanted us to get married first, so we did. I got pregnant shortly afterwards.
Then, he suddenly stopped talking about going abroad. When I asked him about it, he said he had inquired about the process and realised it was far too expensive for his budget. I owned a piece of property at the time, and I was willing to put it on the market so I could give him the money to pursue his dreams. But he refused my help, saying he would figure something out on his own.
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A few days later, my husband came to me with a new plan. “There is a woman I can marry, and she will help me travel abroad.” He explained that it was going to be a contract marriage.
Because of this, he said we shouldn’t go ahead with registering our ordinance marriage just yet. He begged me to put everything on hold until his dream materialised. He assured me that after two years, he would divorce the other woman because it was strictly a business arrangement.
I was not comfortable with the idea at all, but I did not want to stand in the way of his dreams, so I gave him my blessing.
Some time later, he came back to tell me he was going to see the woman’s family to perform the necessary traditional marriage rites. That was when alarm bells started ringing in my head. Why would she need him to meet her parents and perform full marriage rites if it was just a fake contract marriage?
When I pushed for answers, he finally confessed the truth. This woman was his ex. Their relationship was not a normal one. She was older than him and had three children of her own. She had won the American lottery and had since become a United States citizen.
Things got heated after my husband informed his family about his plans. They changed their behaviour towards me. He too was always fighting with me and looking for new ways to make life difficult for me.
Things got so bad that he reported me to the police station. He had stolen my money while we were together, and when I threatened to report his behaviour to his father, the rest of his family panicked. They did not want his father to know what his son was doing to me, so they rushed to report me to the police to prevent me from coming to their house.
When our child was old enough to start school, I asked that we split the bills that came with her education, but he refused. I took him to the Social Welfare Department, but he still refused to pay. Because of that, the department gave me a letter to take him to court.
The court ordered him to pay 50 per cent of our child’s school fees, half of my rent, and a monthly feeding allowance of GH₵500, since he claimed he was not earning enough at the time.
However, the reality of taking care of our child is taking a heavy toll on me. In a single week, I spend close to GH₵1,000 on our daughter’s feeding alone. Every other expense regarding her upbringing falls entirely on my shoulders, making it impossible for me to save any money.
What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?
Meanwhile, things have significantly improved for my ex because he has successfully joined the woman in America. While he is living his new life over there, I am still here struggling alone with our daughter and all her expenses.
Is there any legal way I can get the court to review and increase the amount he pays towards our child’s upkeep now that his financial situation has changed?
—Melissa
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