The recommendation came from a friend. Hours after the breakdown of my last relationship, he told me, “You see why I don’t waste commitment on women these days? Two years and what did you get in return? Heartbreak?”

I wasn’t heartbroken per se but no matter how a relationship ends, it leaves a bad feeling in your gut. You can break up with the devil and still get that pang in your throat. So I asked my friend, “What then do we do? We should all become catholic priests?” He answered, “There’s one thing we all want from our women. You can pay someone to do it. No commitment. Nothing. Purely transactional. It’s like getting food from a restaurant. If it’s nice, you go again. If not, adios. You try something different.”

He gave me a number. He said, “They treat you better than a girlfriend will ever do. They give what they promise–a happy ending.”

I kept the number for one month until one day, I called out of loneliness. A lady’s voice asked what I wanted. There are girls who come over to your place to give you a massage. It’s their work but if you want a happy ending, it’s also their work. You only pay more and select your kind of girl.

They sent photos on WhatsApp and I chose one. I made payment and a few minutes later the lady called.

She came to my place in the evening with oils that smelled like heaven. There were candles too—different colours and different glow. She put me on the table and started playing music from a little speaker she brought. It was like magic. Something I hadn’t experienced before.

My friend was right. It was a happy beginning so I imagined how the happy ending would be like. When we got there, I turned into a vegetable. I’m not a moaning man but moaning leaked out my nose and from my mouth. It was too much to bear.

I booked her again days later. I booked her on a rainy day. I booked her when the sun was too hot.

One day, she gave me an experience for free. Another day she came and she cooked. She wore my T-shirt and it fit. She sat on my sofa and she looked like she belonged there. I asked myself, “What are you doing?” The tiny voice inside my head answered, “You’re making a woman for the people your own. Think about it.”

We are almost a year together in a relationship, still getting happy endings, something no woman has ever given me.

But there’s something we both are scared to talk about—her past as a giver of happy endings. Like, “What got you into this job?” Or “How long did you do it for?” The thing also is, if she didn’t get into this job, how else was I going to meet her?

I’m not shy to admit that I love her but I’m scared her past will one day destroy things for me. She’s doing a different job now but I’ve caught myself on several occasions being insecure about the things she does and that’s what scares me. She talks on the phone and I’m jealous. I see her texting and I ask myself, “Who is she texting, a client?”

I want to let her go so much that I want to keep her. I’m confused. Have you ever loved the wrong one right? How did it go? Something like mine has a future? How can I calm myself down and relax in this thing we call a relationship?

SHARE | Help Others See It Too

—Kobby

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******