I dated my boyfriend for nine years. We were only months into the relationship when he first told me about his marriage. It caught me completely off guard. I felt a wave of surprise, then guilt, and finally, a deep pity for him. I was surprised because he didnāt seem like the “married type.” I felt guilty because I couldn’t believe I was dating another woman’s husband. But then I felt sorry for him after hearing his sideāhow “bad” of a wife she supposedly was.
He told me āWe are in the middle of a divorce right now. We are only separated, but there is no going back.ā
I was 21 when we started dating. I stayed with him, believing that once everything ended with his wife, we would start our own family, new and fresh. He was good to me. He supported me whenever I needed it; all I had to do was ask. He was sweet, and our love felt pure, at least from every angle I chose to see it.
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One evening, I received a call from his wife. She was screaming. āWhy do you want to destroy my family? Take my childrenās father away from them? Three childrenāthree! Are you not a woman like me? Woman to woman!ā
Three children? āI thought you had only two?ā I asked her. That was the part that shook me the most. He told me they had two. As it turned out, she was pregnant with their third child. When I tried to question her, she would not explain. She just kept shouting before ending the call.
That was the first time we had a big fight. I demanded answers, but he stuck to the same old story. “We are separated. We are separated.”
Our relationship grew deeper after that, and I convinced myself that the only thing standing in the way of our happy ending was his wife. I decided that if she would not leave him, then I would not leave either.
Years later, I now have two children with him. Long ago, he promised to come and see my family to perform the customary marriage rites, but he is still hiding behind excuses, even though he has the means to do it. We even pooled money together to buy land, intending to build something small for me and the children. Nothing has been done.
He rented a place for me and stays with me most of the time, but he still goes home to his family on weekends.
A few months ago, after I gave birth to my second child, I went through his phone. That was when I discovered that, aside from me and his wife, there are other women, one married woman and two others.
Now I find myself asking, why are we not enough for him? His wife and I, why are we not enough? I am sure his wife has already accepted that I am her rival and has come to terms with it. Why can he not do the same?
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I am heartbroken. I am angry, angry at life, angry at him, angry at the love I have for him. My hope in him is shattered. The belief that he was different is gone. I know I am a good person, but I feel lost. How did I get here? What do I do next? I feel so heartbroken and confused.
He has promised me so much, yet I still cannot leave him.
āBerthy
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If he kept you all these years what made you think it would only be you? The minute you agree to being a side chick remember he is capable of getting 3 or 4 more
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Berthy, you’re very funny. You claim to be a good person yet refused to leave the man even after he confessed to you that he is married rather you chose to drag him with his wife. Now you discovered his philandering and you’re feeling cheated. You only stayed this long because you said it yourself; he has means.
U deserve whatever u are going through
All the best in it okay my dear sis
It’s hard to advice you because your not seeing bad in what you did in the first place, you call yourself good
So what I can only tell you is that he who digs a pit must also fall into
That’s just the things you did knowingly following you up
He who kills by sword must also die by sword
The same way you accepted that he’s married and you also claim the same wife accepted that your her rival ,so why not also accept the other women as well.
Ask yourself this question,what kind of marriage would you love to live in after making another woman’s marriage painful?! Also ,if your a good person,please go and reflect deeply on that statement,be genuine with yourself. Only you and God can tell the honest truth. If the spirit of God live in you, you will know. It’s never too late to change and be a good person,
Only God can take of you, you have to let go
God’s arms are open for you when your ready to change and let go
Don’t be afraid to do the right thing, don’t be part of the reason why someone else’s marriage is falling apart
Waaa see
Ur rivals are arriving jux as the legal wife is made terms with with u
Good indeed!!! K) nky3en na mennsen!!!!
Sometimes I don’t understand some women kraaa
You are a fool , what did you expect ? You sleep with a married man and you thought you would be his proiority ?make it make sense ! He isnāt even committed to his wife and you think what you have with him is soo special that he would not even have another side chick ??? You donāt even have brains .
You had no shame and didn’t feel any remorse even when you got to know he was married.
You want to destroy what your fellow woman has spent years building and you think you’ll have it easy?
Karma is knocking right at your door.