When I married Junior, I thought I had won in life. For a man who knew my story from A to Z, I believed with my whole heart that he would never hurt me where it hurt the most. I thought he would protect me from the evil of this world. I thought he would shield me, my child, and the child we would have together.

What did he know?

He knew that a monster raped me when I was young. He knew how hard it was living with that trauma. He knew I found out I was pregnant when it was already too late to do anything about it.

He knew how I struggled to survive. He knew there were days I didn’t know where my next meal would come from, but I held on to the promise that God’s time is always right. I told him everything. I told him how my child became my strength and my reason to keep going.

I believed that someone who knew my past would treat me with compassion and understanding. Unfortunately, my honeymoon didn’t last long. I received my first slap in the first year of our marriage because he said, “That’s not how you speak to your husband.” Because of that, he called a family meeting.

He told lies, and I was made to stand there and listen. When it was my turn to speak, I refused to stay quiet. I washed our dirty linen right there with him.

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That meeting that was supposed to fix things only made everything worse. It damaged our marriage and his relationship with my father.

Even when he became seriously ill to the point of his death. He said, “He is your father, not mine.” My father died, and in that moment, I truly felt like an orphan.

At night, I would lie beside my husband, crying, grieving my father. He would stretch and snore louder. He has never said sorry. He has never comforted me. He has never even placed a hand on my shoulder to say, “It is well.” It is not well. But at least it would have been better to hear it.

Over the years, I have felt deeply alone in this marriage. My husband can go days, even weeks, without speaking to me. When I am upset about something he has done, he shows no concern. Apologies only come when I beg for them. Financially, I support the home whenever I can because I believe marriage is a partnership. But it often feels like I am the only one who believes that. Emotionally, he is absent. When I am overwhelmed, he is not there. When I miss my father and need someone to cry with, he is not the one I can turn to.

Yet when he wants sex, I am expected to be available. And if I am not, he believes he has a reason to cheat.

Sometimes I wonder how much his upbringing shaped him. His parents eventually separated after many years of marriage. His mother struggled, working hard and selling food to support the home while the relationship crumbled. There were many hardships in that family.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

I believe cheating is wrong, whether it is a man or a woman. But I also believe how we treat each other matters deeply. When a woman is constantly neglected, unsupported, and emotionally abandoned, it creates wounds that run deep.

After thirteen years of marriage, I often feel like I would rather be single than stay in a relationship where I feel so alone. I am not sharing this to attack him. I am sharing this because this is the reality many women silently live with. If anything, I hope this brings awareness to emotional neglect and reminds us all that love should come with compassion, respect, and care.

—Martha

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