On our first date, I wasn’t feeling up for food, but he asked, in fact, he insisted that I eat something from the menu. So I chose something that wasn’t heavy and wasn’t expensive. When the food was served, I couldn’t finish everything. He asked why I wasn’t eating, and I said I was full. He pulled the plate to his side and ate everything while scolding me for wasting food. “You ladies of today, because you don’t pay for it, you think it’s easy. You shouldn’t waste it.”

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I swore I wouldn’t go out with him again, but he was able to convince me to give him a second date. You know, you don’t judge a person by only one flaw and disregard the rest of his good qualities, so I decided to meet him again.

This time, I was hungry, and based on my last experience, I didn’t want a repeat. I ordered my food, and he ordered a drink. When my food was served, he pushed his seat closer and said, “Let me help you before you waste the food.”

I intentionally stopped eating midway, and this guy finished the food, all the while feeling vindicated for his actions. “I said it. I knew you would waste the food. See what would have happened if I didn’t eat with you.”

If he were observant, he would have noticed I wasn’t pleased. When the bill came, I paid. He didn’t even try to stop me from paying. He watched me pay and later asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you would pay? And you made me drink only this?”

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This is a guy who has proposed to me and is waiting for a response. I’m confused. Is he a frank and outspoken person, or is he simply stingy? I don’t want to confuse the two. Maybe he simply speaks out about things he doesn’t like. That’s fine; I can live with that while I correct my mistakes as we go along. But if it’s an act of stinginess, then I will run without looking back.

So, which is which?

—Doreen

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