I’ve known Shadrach for about five years now. He liked me when we first met but I didn’t give him much attention. At the time, he lived abroad. I didn’t like the idea of dating or marrying someone outside the country. That’s why I turned him down. He understood me and didn’t push further. Nonetheless, we stayed friends.

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A few months ago, we started talking again. He told me he still liked me. “I will be in Ghana soon. We can meet and talk when I come, so we see if we can start something.” I agreed.

The thing is, he is Ghana. I have met him, and truth be told, I didn’t like what I saw. He’s nothing close to the kind of man I consider physically attractive.

He’s short, fair, and doesn’t know how to dress. He is also 12 years older than me. Oh, did I mention that he is missing some teeth?

I don’t feel attracted to him at all. I am sad about this because he’s a kind and good man. I genuinely wanted to give him a chance, but how can I be with someone I’m not attracted to?

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I confided in my elder sister. She advised me to mention the things about him that can be fixed — like his fashion sense and his teeth. She said maybe he could get artificial teeth, and that might help me see him differently.

The problem is, how do I tell him this without hurting his feelings? These are very sensitive issues. How can a small girl like me tell a 38-year-old man to fix his teeth and change his dressing? I don’t know how to go about it without offending him.

—Freda

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