About two or three years ago, my husband took me to court to divorce me. His reason was simple: he no longer wanted the marriage. The matter was referred to Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) for possible reconciliation.
My pastor and some elders advised me not to agree to the divorce immediately. They asked me to make sure I got my fair share of the properties we had acquired together. So, I followed their advice and agreed to attend the reconciliation meetings.
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During one of the ADR sessions, my husband said something that finally made me angry and determined to end the sham of a marriage I was in. He said I stank, smelled like gutters, and had maggots in my vagina. According to him, I did not know this, but each time we were intimate, he would go to the bathroom afterwards to clean himself.
I felt so embarrassed and defeated. I told the elders that I wanted to end the marriage and that all I needed from him was my fair share of what we had acquired together.
We had bought a piece of land together, and both our names were on the documents. I wanted my share of the land, but when I asked him about it, he claimed that the chiefs and elders had taken the land from him and refunded him GH₵60,000. This was a lie. He had gone back to register the land and removed my name, claiming that I had died.
On another occasion, we went to the chief’s palace to discuss the land. He came with a friend and claimed that the land belonged to that friend and that the building on it also belonged to him. The chief and elders had to investigate the matter to establish the truth. After their investigations, they found that I was telling the truth. They then decided to deal with me because they were interested in purchasing the land and the building.
My husband even brought forged documents claiming ownership of the land, but his claims did not hold water.
When he was asked in court whether I had contributed significantly towards the land and the building, he did not give any proper response. After many back-and-forths, and with him failing to appear in court on some occasions, the marriage was eventually dissolved.
During the separation, he started talking about coming for the children. I had no problem with him having access to them, but because our issues had already gone through court, I wanted custody, access, and parental responsibilities to be properly addressed through the appropriate legal process.
Recently, he called me and said he would no longer help me cater for the children because I had refused to allow him to come for one of them. He even told me that I could tell the children their father was dead.
Unfortunately, I had put the phone on loudspeaker, so the children heard everything he said.
This has changed the way I think about the property.
I had previously decided not to pursue the land and building because I saw them as something that would ultimately benefit me and the children. But after everything that has happened, especially his statement that I should tell the children their father is dead, I am now seriously considering pursuing my contributions and whatever legal interest I have in the land and building.
Things have become even more worrying because I have received calls from his elder brothers and sisters threatening to kill me. I do not want to sound suspicious or assume that everyone is out to get me, but I am genuinely worried about my safety.
One day, I returned from visiting the land with some people from the chief’s palace, and I felt that something was not right with my body. Given the threats I have received, I cannot help but worry about what might happen to me.
My ex-husband does not answer calls from the chief’s palace. He has refused to attend some of the meetings concerning the land, and he has also failed to appear in court on some occasions. I am worried that continuing to pursue the matter personally could expose me to further danger.
What Caused The Breakup Between You And Your Ex?
What is the best and safest way for me to proceed?
Should I pursue the land and building through the courts? Should I involve a lawyer and stop dealing with the chief’s palace and my ex-husband personally? What should I do about the threats to my life? And what is the best way to handle the children’s relationship with their father after what happened?
—Dufie
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