One afternoon, I was at work when two young guys walked into two the store. They wanted to buy something but we didn’t have it. So I spoke to them and asked them to return another day. While I was engaging them I realized that one of the guys was quietly staring at me. Later I learned that his name is John, and the one who spoke to me is called Kwame. 

The day after our first meeting, John came to my shop. “I went to buy some fruits and I bought some for you.” He said. I looked at the fruits in his hand and said, “No, thank you.” He smiled and left it on my table, and then walked away without a word. I had no choice but to take the fruits. He came back another time to engage me in a long conversation and showed me his place. It was literally a stone’s throw away from my workplace. I saw more of him after that, and that’s how our friendship began. 

A little while into our friendship John told me he was interested in me. I didn’t feel the same way about him so I turned him down. He took my “I’m not interested in you” for “I’m just playing hard to get so try harder.” For four months he tried to win my affection. No matter what I said he kept coming back until I got tired and said yes to him. I didn’t accept his proposal out of love or interest. I did it because he wore me out, and I genuinely hoped that eventually, I would fall in love with him. 

I spent a lot of time at his place, given that he lived close to my workplace. When we started dating him I was a virgin but I allowed him to deflower me. Things progressed beautifully, and  I partially moved in with him two years into the relationship. I spent my work days at his place for convenience and went home on my days off. Most couples I know start having problems when they share the same living space but it wasn’t like that with me and John. Living with him made things more amazing between us. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner than him. He was caring, loving, and a perfect gentleman. Even when we had issues, he never raised his voice at me.

Soon after I started living with him I enrolled in the private school near my workplace. So I was balancing school and work, and he made it bearable. One night we were in bed when a message popped up on his phone; “Your boy is sick.” I was surprised by the message. So out of curiosity I opened it and realized he had deleted previous messages from that number. It was late, and I was tired so I waited till morning to confront him. He told me, “The message is from my ex, a divorcée with two children. We dated briefly, but we don’t have any children together. However, I formed an attachment with her kids. I still entertain her because of them, and also because she paid my school fees through school. She wanted us to get married but my family didn’t support our union.” 

“Why didn’t they?” I asked him. “Because she is twenty-three years older than me.” He said. It was a lot of information to process but I believed him. He had never lied to me so I didn’t have any reason at all to doubt him. After a week, another message popped up from the same number. I opened it again but this time around I replied to it. I texted back, “Leave me alone. I have moved on with my life.” I made it look like it was John’s response. One week later John told me, “I have been hearing some voices in my head. I think I have to go home.” He is a Nigerian so by home, he meant Nigeria. I spoke to his mother on the phone and arrangements were made for his travel. 

When he arrived he consulted some pastors. They told him that the voices he was hearing in his head were connected to a woman. I don’t know if there’s more to the story but that’s what he told me. So I told him, “If you have any idea who it is then go and beg her forgiveness.” He told me, “The only person who will do this is my ex. After taking care of me in the university, she is not happy that we are not together.” So he went with his pastors to talk to her, and they begged for her forgiveness. It must have worked because now he’s getting better. 

He came back to Ghana last year and proposed that we get married. I accepted it. Things were going on very well until I had a dream. In my dream, I saw a woman and a girl child about seven years of age standing with John. And the woman turned to the little girl and said, “Go to your father.” I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. When I told John about my dream he said, “It’s only a dream, don’t worry about it.” But the thing is, most of my dreams come to pass so I take them seriously. 

I had a similar dream another time so I asked him, “Do you have a child?” He said he didn’t and I believed him. But my instincts kept telling me that he is lying.  After some time he decided to travel back to his country to meet his pastors for some prayers. Before he left I asked him again if he had a child and he still said no. He even got angry at me for not believing him. After he left I ran into his friend, Kwame. We got talking and Kwame mentioned that John had two daughters. I hid my shock and pretended as if I already knew. 

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 When I got home I called John and asked him again if he has a child and he maintained that he didn’t. His mother and his brothers even spoke to me and confirmed his answer. I didn’t have any evidence to prove that they were lying so I accepted what they said. Another time I ran into Kwame again, and I called John in front of him and asked him about his kids. Kwame said, “Yes, John told me long ago that he has two daughters.” John called him a liar. The whole thing was confusing. I didn’t know who to believe anymore, but I also couldn’t let it go. When I got home I prayed about it and told God to reveal the truth to me. 

The next morning I don’t know what came over me but I called John and told him, “Tell me the truth or else I will curse you. Do you have a child?” That was when he confessed that he has two children with his ex. “You told me you wouldn’t marry a man who has kids, that’s why I lied. I am sorry.” 

We were planning to get married next year but after what happened I am not sure anymore. If he could lie about something like this and get his family to support him then he can do worse things to me. I feel he is hiding more secrets. He was able to hide the truth about his children from me for five years. I am so hurt. I have decided to end the relationship.

—Regina

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