Kay and I are close in age. I am 31 while he is 32. I believed we were both at an age where marriage was the next thing for us in life. I wasn’t wrong. We’ve been talking about marriage right from the talking stage.

From the beginning, he said he would like to have a civil wedding. I responded, “Then let’s end it here before we get to that stage.” When he asked why, I explained that I would have a church wedding or nothing.

We talked about it and he agreed to let go of his civil wedding intentions and embrace my church wedding dream. We said we would go to church for blessing, after the traditional ceremony, no reception. Something simple with minimal cost.

Everything was going well between us until yesterday. We were chatting about the wedding when he said he intends to do a court wedding and not a church wedding.

“We already talked about this,” I reminded him, “we said we should do something simple in church.”

He said he changed his mind and that he cannot go through with our initial plan because, in his words, “it’s too involving.”

Personally, I love church weddings, and it has always been my dream to have one. Now I am conflicted. Should I compromise and agree to a court wedding, or should I see this as a red flag?

—Cioma

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