Failed marriage

Fii was there when I started having issues with Kwame. He was a friend a ran to when things got out of hand between me and Kwame. He always had something to say to calm the storm in my heart. Sometimes when Kwame wasn’t talking to me after a fight, it was Fii who went to see Kwame and settle things for us.

He was like the brother I didn’t have. I was born the only child. My parent couldn’t get involved in my relationship issues because I felt it wasn’t right. We were not married so why bring mom and dad to solve issues I shouldn’t have had in the first place? 

I had Fii to help me out whenever I needed him. 

Eventually, I and Kwame fell apart. I found him one night in bed with a woman he had always sworn not to be going out with. 

I got broken. My pride fell into the sand and couldn’t pick up the pieces. Fii was there for me, consoling and assuring me of a better tomorrow. I didn’t see any hope ahead but he stuck with me trying his best to make me laugh and hanging out with me anytime he had the chance. 

Both of us didn’t see it coming. By the time we realized, we were madly in love and planning the future together. Till date, I don’t remember when or how Fii proposed to me and I don’t also remember saying yes to his proposal. I don’t remember because that didn’t happen. 

All was well with us in love. Once again, the universe found a way to turn things around for my good. 

Fii had job issues. When we started dating he had no job. I was virtually taking care of most of his needs. I paid his rent, paid his utilities and even provided him with money to buy what he needed. When we agreed we were going to get married, we also agreed that he has to find a job before we do that.

Soon he found himself a job. It wasn’t paying so well as he wanted but it was a start we both believed would get better. Six months after getting a job, he brought marriage discussion back to the table. We set timelines and started preparation. 

I knew his financial situation wasn’t that strong, so I didn’t want to burden him. I asked him to plan a marriage he could afford. Even that, I had to support him financially. Then one afternoon he called; “Babe, I want to buy the rings but the money I have here isn’t enough. Could you lend me some amount I could pay in a month time?”

“No,” I responded. “I can help you pay for everything but not the ring. The ring should be wholly yours and given to me as a promise of your love. If I help you buy the ring, it’s like me buying a ring for myself. That isn’t right.”

When I saw him that night, he had a frowned face. I knew she wasn’t pleased about my inability to give him the money. When I started talking to him, he gave me straight answers. I asked him; “Are you angry about something?” He said; “Of course I’m angry. All I’m going through now is because I want to be married to you. It’s for your sake so if you don’t want to help where help is needed, then we better call off the whole thing.”

I didn’t take what he said seriously. People usually have a way of exaggerating what they say when they’re angry. I tried calming him down and told him he has no reason to rush if he doesn’t have the money. There was always time. 

Everything was ready except the rings. I maintained my position of not helping but somehow, he was able to pull off a magic and bought a set of rings for both the engagement and the wedding. I remember giving him a special treat for being able to buy the rings. We both laughed about it and spent the night together.

Marriage was on our mind but there was one more thing we didn’t talk about; where we would live after marriage. We couldn’t live in his single room together and I didn’t see it as appropriate to bring him to live in my parent’s house. We couldn’t live apart too. 

I knew also that he didn’t have the money to rent us an apartment. That became my problem to solve and I did. I made him searched for an apartment of his choice and gave him money to pay for it. He promised to pay after the wedding but I knew better. He always promises to pay but later pretended he had forgotten he owed me money. 

Three months after that, we had a beautiful wedding. I’ve never seen him so happy. His happiness rubbed me in all the right places. I couldn’t help it but be happy for such a man in my life. When people left, he stayed. We deserved our happiness on that day. 

Soon the night came and the wedding was over. In our hotel room, we had the night of our life, though we were too tired to last all the mile. 

After church service the next day, the photographer called. We had made half payment for his services and promised to pay the half after the event. He called for the rest of his money so he could work on the photos immediately. I told Fii, “The photographer wants his money.” He answered, “Yeah, so what do you want me to do? Why don’t you pay him yourself?”

The cheeky way he said it got me boiling on the inside. I responded, “Be a man for once and do what men do. Show up when men are needed and stop pushing everything on me. Must I pay for everything?” Something about what I said got him pissed off.

“I did what men do. I got married to you as you’ve always wanted. You wanted this and we’ve done it. I can’t go around paying for things you requested.”

“You wanted this and we’ve done it…” I can’t ever forget that phrase. “So he married me not because he wanted to but because I wanted it.” I thought to myself.  “So that explains why I had to pay for everything?”

I wanted to say worse things to him but I kept my calm. I called the photographer back and told him I’ll send the money first thing the next day.

After the quarrel, he picked up his t-shirt and left the hotel. He didn’t come back and I didn’t call him to ask where he was. Monday came and soon it was Tuesday, he never came back. I didn’t call too. 

I checked out of the hotel and went to my parent’s house. They wanted to know why I came alone and why I came there instead of going to our rented apartment. I didn’t have much to say than to tell them; “I haven’t seen Fii since Sunday evening. 

They started calling him. They asked where he was. He lied and pretended everything was fine. He called on Sunday morning, a week after he had left asking for the keys to the apartment. I acted like a metal, cold and unaffected. I asked him, “Are you coming to pick your things from the house?” He answered, “Your parents have spoken to me at length and I think we should sit and settle our differences. It’s too early to be fighting.”

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I told him, “Come around whenever you are ready. I’ll give you the keys to pick whatever you have left from the house.” He started ranting, “Didn’t you hear what I said? Your parents have…”

I cut the call before he could finish his statement. While he was away, I’d learned to move on and he wasn’t yet aware. I wanted the marriage that’s why he did it for me. I didn’t want it any longer. May it please him to let it go.

My parent tried to talk me out. They called it infiltration of the devil but the only devil I knew was Fii. We went our separate ways. Now I’m happy. Wherever he is, I hope he’s happy too.   

-Story by Abena Florence, Winneba-Ghana.

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