Somewhere in 2019, I was served a hot plate of heartbreak. My then girlfriend had left me for a better man. True, I was more academically gifted than the other guy but he had more money than I did. So her friends influenced her to leave me for the man with money. I thought our love was stronger than material needs but I found out the hard way never to underestimate the allure a provider has on a woman.
While I was nursing my heartbreak, there was this cute dark lady who was admiring me from afar. She was apprenticing as a seamstress and her madam was my co-tenant. This young lady, her name is Akua, she would flirt with me every time she saw me in town. Even when I was in a relationship, she was hitting on me. At that time I didn’t know. I thought she was just being nice. But after my break up, it became more apparent that she was interested in me romantically.
According to her, she was no longer seeing me in town. Even when she came to visit her madam, she wouldn’t see me around the house. That was why she asked of me one afternoon when she came for her usual visit. Her madam told her that my girlfriend left me so I was heartbroken. “I felt bad for you but I also saw it as an opportunity to get close to you,” she confessed to me later.
I remember when she started buying me random gifts. I didn’t understand why she was doing that but it always cheered me up. As time progressed, she started doing more things to make me notice her. And eventually, I did. That was when I realized that all her niceness was an open invitation for me to make my move.
She tried her best, but I was in no hurry to jump into another relationship. I had just come out of a three-year relationship. So I was taking my time to get to know her better before I make any move. While I was getting to know her I was enjoying her company, care, love, and affection. She gave me the needed respect as a man. I was just counting on time to be in a better place for her emotionally.
Just as things were going well, Akua went off on me. She just disappeared for no reason. I called her several times but no response. I sent her several messages but she ignored them too. I asked if I did anything to offend her but she didn’t have anything substantial to say to me. How could she go from being crazy about me to ghosting me?
Anyway, I was already grieving before she came into the picture so her absence made little difference to my situation. I mean, if someone I dated for three years left me, then her ghosting was insignificant to me.
Five years after ghosting me, she’s a born-two (Not that I am saying single mums don’t deserve love.) The man she had the kids with is so irresponsible. Sadly, they lost their second child but still, the man is irresponsible. This guy has no proper job or a business he is running. All he does is a part-time job yet he changes ladies the way babies change their diapers. He beats his women too.
Akua has left him and is now living on her own. The guy is also living his own life without fulfilling any fatherly responsibility to his child. Now, Akua is back in my life. She was trying to get close to me again but I have seen enough shege in the name of love. Even now that I am living comfortably and can take care of my woman, I have still been served freshly baked heartbreak in many forms. That’s why I have been keeping Akua at arm’s length.
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She has been throwing herself at me and it’s gotten to the point where it’s beginning to annoy me. If she calls and I pick, that’s fine but if I don’t pick, she would call like fifty times in five minutes. When I couldn’t take it anymore I asked her why she was doing all that. She said she wants us to be in a relationship. “You want who? Me that you came into my life when I was nursing my heartbreak and you made me see light even when I had not crossed to the end of the tunnel. Then all of a sudden you ghosted me and went for someone else. Now that you have a child you want me?”
The reason she gave me for disappearing shocked me. It has also taught me not to trust humans, even the ones you dine with. According to Akua, her madam who was my co-tenant told her my girlfriend left me because I was unable to provide for her. “She advised me that if you become my boyfriend you won’t be able to take care of me so I should stay away from you. She said you didn’t look like you would make it in life.” That’s what she said. As naïve as she was, she took her madam’s advice without saying a word to me.
It Will Be Difficult For Me To Commit To One Person
The reason she ghosted me hurt me more than the actual ghosting so I have blocked her. I warned her never to call me again. She knows I am angry but she does not care. She doesn’t even want to give up. I am not rich but I am doing well for myself. She’s also doing well. Because she has money, she keeps sending me gifts. I have reported her to her mum and uncle to keep her away from me but she still won’t leave me alone.
Now, I have a question and some advice. First, my girlfriend left me because of her friends’ influence. Akua also did what she did because of her madam’s influence. So what would happen if some of you ladies make your own decisions? Must you always do what your friends tell you without considering what you want? My little advice, life is too stressful, short, and with so many uncertainties. Live life to please nobody. After all, it’s about you, not them.
—Nana Yaw
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They are leaving you because they want to leave you, and they are using the people around them as an excuse. Almost every woman dating a man gets the advice to leave them, its actually more common than you think. But if they love you, they will stay despite what people say. When I met my husband, everyone told me to leave him. He wasn’t a provider, wasn’t book smart and is known for making bad decisions. But I loved him so I stood up for him and married him. My family was disappointed, my friends made mockery of me, but I didn’t care, I thought our love was all we needed. 13 years later I regret my decision, I probably should ba s listened.
Anyway back to you, those women are not for you. When your perfect match comes along, you will know.
Some people are just bitter about someone’s progress
Asemoo. If you know what you really want you won’t be persuaded by others to change your preferences. They were just young ,immatured and naive. Give yourself time and you will get what is rightfully yours. Don’t stress yourself. You said so yourself she is a good person but was also naive.Even good people have their short comings. As you said life is too short so don’t bear a grudge against her but rather be there for her as she was for you before this mistake happened. We all deserve a second chance at love. I know it’s not easy but forgive her . We all make mistakes but realization makes the difference.