This whole thing started when my sister married Kwame. Through their marriage, our families are now joined together. By that, Kwame’s little sister, Akua, is now supposed to be my sister. It makes me wonder if fate would have thrown her in my direction had my sister not married her brother. There are times too I tell myself that this was how I was destined to meet her. When I think about it like that too, I start to feel the forces of the universe have teamed up to connect me to her as a practical joke. If that wasn’t the case, why is it that of all the people I could have feelings for, I ended up catching feelings for Akua?  Let me tell you how it happened.

We met during the marriage ceremony between our siblings. We were so busy that we didn’t have any proper interactions. But after everything settled, we started talking. We were supposed to be just friends. But the more we got to know each other, the closer we got. As we got closer I realized something different in the way she treated me. I am a man, but I am not as clueless as men are made to seem. I could tell that Akua had developed feelings for me. She is such a cute catch, so I liked her too. I suppose the thing in our heads that prevents us from having romantic feelings for our siblings did not take effect in our case. After all, we are not biologically related.

I am older than her so I felt the need to be the responsible one in our friendship and confront what was going on before it got out of hand. I didn’t want a situation where our nice friendship would become something messy. So I sat her down and told her, “I can feel a shift in the way we relate with each other. We started out as friends but now there is something more brewing in our hearts. I know how you feel about me, but you need to understand that nothing can happen between us. So I think it’s best we give each other some space to kill our feelings for each other.” She heaved an exasperated sigh, “Dude if you don’t like me you can just say so. There is no need for this long speech.”

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“Don’t get me wrong, I like you,” I told her. “So what is the problem?” she whined, “How can you tell me we should give each other space, and then tell me you like me? What’s the meaning of that? What am I supposed to do with this information?” I understood her frustration because our situation was frustrating to me as well. I explained to her that it might not be culturally acceptable for us to be together, and that spending time apart was the right thing to do for the situation. She didn’t like it, and neither did I, but we parted ways. One will consider it ill luck to be in my shoes. If I knew I would end up feeling this way about her, I would never have tried to be her friend.

After our parting, I met an amazing woman and got into a relationship with her. We were in love and happy. Unlike Leah, she was not a complication. Things were simple with her. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her even, but it turned out that we were not meant to be. Unfortunately, our relationship ended quite recently. During the period we were together, I still maintained a good friendship with Leah but I made sure to keep a safe distance from her, so I wouldn’t lead her on. However, after the breakup, we’ve been spending a lot of time together. She is a nice person, and I enjoy her company. It feels so effortless to talk to her and be with her.
What Women Do When They Are No Longer Interested In You–Beads Media

One time we were together when we got carried away. Maybe we got so comfortable that we just gravitated toward each other. Someway somehow we kissed. It was nice and I would like to do it again but I am worried that it is a taboo situation. I am not yet fully in love with Leah but I have feelings for her, but it feels wrong. A voice in my head keeps telling me, “You guys are family. You shouldn’t feel that way about her. It’s wrong.” My head is all messed up because of this. Why does she have to be the girl I am attracted to? I wish I could make my intentions to be with her known to our families but I am not sure if they will be okay with it.

This is why I am here today. Leah and I have something we wish we could explore. However, my sister is married to her brother. This means we are related through marriage. I know that if we end up together it is not incest. But my question is, will it be acceptable, taking into consideration our Ghanaian customs and traditions? What would you advise me to do in this situation?

–Kobby

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