This is a woman every man would love to keep. At twenty-four she was already an established engineer in one of the top mining companies in Ghana. She walked with an aura of grace behind her. She wore an overall during day time when she was on duty. These overalls were large and were supposed to cover the whole body of the wearer. But this lady wore an overall and you’ll still see her curves in the overall. When I got closer enough to be able to joke with her, I said, “You’re the only woman on earth who makes safety boots look like an expensive pair of dinner shoes.” She laughed. She asked me, “How does it look like? I mean those pair of diner shoes you’re talking about.” I answered, “Do I even know?

I was working on a contract in the mines. I saw her every morning and evening when she was doing inspections of the projects under her care. Each time I saw her, I ran to her and engage her in petty talks. She smiled a lot and was very receptive to me. One evening she invited me to her place and I went. She asked me, “How long are you going to work around here?” I said, “A year but if you guys renew our contract, I would be here for a long while.” My answer seemed to have hit a low note in her and I noticed it. She went dull immediately after my answer. I asked her, “Why do you ask?” She said, “Nothing. It just came to mind.”

I asked her, “You don’t want me to leave?” She laughed. She said, Of course, I don’t want you to leave. Who will run after me every morning when they see me on site?” The blacksmith strikes when the iron is hot. The hunter shoots when the animal is clear on his radar. What does a man in love do when the subject of his love is already smitten? They go ahead and propose. I proposed. She asked me, “Did I make it obvious?

“Obvious as in? I don’t understand.”

“Did I make it obvious that I like you?”

“No, you didn’t. I’m acting on luck and intuition.”

“Then your intuition got it right.”

We became lovers that evening. I kept chasing after her anytime she came around. Sometimes she will pick a stone from the ground and tell me, “Don’t get closer. If you take another step, I will throw this stone at you. Why do you worry me like that?” I will take two more steps towards her. She will throw the stone anyway and she will miss. I will laugh at her for missing and she will tell me, “You think I couldn’t hit you? I intentionally missed because I don’t want to hurt you.” We played a lot. We loved a lot and became inseparable. 

Two years after dating, I took her home on a Christmas day to introduce her to my parents. I sang her praises in front of my parents; “She’s the only female engineer in the mines. If I worked in her company, she would have been my boss. She’s very smart and can map the whole world in just two days.” My parents were sitting there unenthused. My mom asked her, “That little mark on your left cheek. How did you get it? Linda responded, “It’s a tribal mark. I grew up to see it there. It’s even fading.” My dad asked a follow-up question, “Which tribe are you from?” She mentioned her tribe. My mom asked, “Both mom and dad come from the same tribe?” She said, “I don’t know much about my dad but yes my mom and her lineage come from the tribe. 

They were quiet for a while. Their faces looked expressionless. They didn’t look happy and they didn’t look sad. Indifferent. My mom said, “That means you were raised by only your mother right? Since you don’t know much about your father.” Linda answered, “Yes. I grew up knowing my mom as my everything. She did everything within her power to bring me to where I am today.” They both nodded. My dad said, “Welcome. Good to see you.”

They made the whole thing look like a ministerial vetting instead of a happy parent meeting their son’s future wife. When we left their presence Linda said, “They don’t like me.” I said, “That’s a hasty conclusion. They just met you. They asked about what they wanted to know and that’s all. I believe your mother would ask the same question if she meets me.” She said, “When it comes to other people’s emotions toward me, I can sense it from a thousand miles away. It’s like the energy field between two magnets. What I felt in there wasn’t love.” I said, “Don’t bring your engineer principles into human relations. Some people take their time before they accept strangers. My parents are like that. Allow time to work on them.”

We were going to spend the weekend with my parents. The next morning, Linda greeted my mother and she didn’t respond. She came back to me and said, “I have to leave. I’m going back today. I’m not accepted in this house.” I asked what happened and she told me. I said, “Maybe she didn’t hear you greet.” She said, “Why are you trying to make me feel stupid? Everything I say about your parents is wrong. I’m not a child. Don’t make it worse than it is.” She packed her things and I took her to my parents to say goodbye to them. It’s only my dad who nodded. My mom sat there like a mannequin in a bad dress.

When she left they called me to the hall. My dad said, “It’s not possible. You can’t be with a woman like that.” I asked, “Why can’t I? She’s a good woman.” My mom said, “There are equally good women from where we come from. It’s alright If you don’t want to marry someone from our tribe but for God’s sake, bring someone else from a proper tribe. This one won’t do.” We had a very long argument. I threatened to get married with or without their consent. They threatened to disown me if I ever do that.” They called my senior brother on the phone to talk to me. When he heard the whole story he said, “Dad, at this age and time you people still think about these petty things?” My dad responded, “Idiot, how come you married someone from the tribe?” Before my brother could answer, my dad cut the line. They called my uncle who made the issue worse. 

I was determined to get them to accept her but nothing worked. Linda loved me so much and it showed in everything. Even after the incident, she was still hopeful that there could be a change. On my mother’s birthday, I asked her to call her and wish her a happy birthday. I was there when she called my mom on a loudspeaker. My mom said, “Young woman, how dare you call my number? Do you know me? Well, I don’t. So you can’t call and pretend we are friends. You know my son but that doesn’t give you any access or whatsoever to me. Don’t try that again.” That wasn’t the only time she tried to impress them. All her effort to get them to warm up to her hit a snag.

We were four years into the relationship when she finally decided enough was enough. “I will leave and keep my peace. Nothing will make them love me and you’re not ready to go against their wishes so what are we doing?” I tried to make her stay. I even asked her to give us one more year and see what would happen. She didn’t accept to stay so we broke up or something like that. She never picked my calls afterward. She wanted to move on quickly. Two weeks later she called me. She said, “I’m pregnant.” I said, “That is it. That is the turning point of everything. Now that you’re pregnant, they can’t do foko!”

When I called my parents and told them of the new development. My dad said, “No problem. You’ll take your child but the mother can’t come along.” She has the wrong blood.” My mother agreed and it was the final straw that broke the back of our relationship. Linda’s mother was so angry she didn’t want me anywhere close to her daughter. 

Linda was pregnant when the company I was working for had another contract in Senegal. I was part of the team to go to Senegal. When I left, I called her on several occasions but she didn’t pick. When I did the maths and realized she had given birth, I sent her a long message, pleading with her to send me photos of the child. I added my address and wrote, “If it’s money you want before you post the photos to me, just say it and I will send any amount you want.” I never received any response from her. I came back to Ghana in 2011 after four years in Senegal. I rushed to her place to look for her. There was a new person living in her room. She told me she had moved. I went to her mother to ask about her. She said, “She traveled. I can’t tell you where she went.” Later, I heard from mutual friends that she had traveled abroad with the kid. She had my child. I didn’t even know the sex of the child—a boy or a girl? I didn’t know.

In 2014, I found a woman who matches the specifications of my parents. I didn’t want to get rejected again so when I met her and she fell within the bracket, I proposed to her with the intention to spend the rest of my life with her. She was a good girl. She worshipped the ground I walked and my parents called her “in-law” the very first day they met her. In 2016, everything was set for us to get married. We’d had an extensive conversation about marriage and had decided to start making preparations towards it. Just around that time, I was on Facebook when I saw Linda in the “People You May Know” section. I screamed,
That is her. Wow, that’s Linda!” She had changed her name on Facebook but she couldn’t change her face. 

I sent her a friend’s request which she didn’t accept. Days later, I sent her a very long message pleading with her to at least say a word to me. One week later she responded, “Where are you?” When I read it I sighed. I told her I was In Ghana and now living in Accra. She said, “You know my mother’s house right? I’m there, just in case you want to see me.” Her mother was in Accra. From my place to her place was just an hour’s drive. It was around 5:30pm when I saw the message. I rushed to her mother’s place and knocked,  She came to open the door. She looked a little bit pale. Her breasts were larger than they used to be. Immediately I sat down, I heard the cry of a baby. That baby was for her. She came to Ghana to give birth.

She told me we had a son. She showed me pictures of him. She showed me his recent videos. I couldn’t help but cry. She said, “I couldn’t come with him. Maybe next time.” We talked about life and talked about how we’ve survived. She asked about my parents. I asked about life in the US and her newborn child. I left her place around 9pm. I got home and I couldn’t sleep. All night I was thinking about her. The old sparks were coming back to life and I wanted her again. The next morning I called. In the evening I called her again. We agreed to meet again, this time not at her house. We met in a restaurant and we talked about all the things we were scared to talk about. Why she left and never picked my calls and never replied to my messages. She said she wanted to move on quickly without carrying my memories along. I asked about the new baby and she said it’s for a man she met in the USA. They were not married and had no intentions to marry but the baby came unplanned. She asked about my relationship and I said I was planning to get married.

For a whole week, I couldn’t sleep properly. I thought about her and the possibility to get back together with her. One day I called and proposed to her again. She said, “Are you crazy? Were you not the one who said you were about to get married?” I said, “Yes but I saw you and everything has changed. She’s a good woman. She deserves someone better than a man who doesn’t love her that much. I wanted to marry her just to make my parents happy but the question is, what about my own happiness? I want to choose you because you’re my happiness. The one I will choose every day.” She brushed me aside but I was persistent. She was worried about my parents and the heart of the woman I was with. I told her, “Years ago I allowed them to fill me with fears. I’m no longer that guy. I don’t care about them and how they’ll feel so forget about them.”

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She said, “I just had a daughter with a man I thought I could love but love didn’t happen. He’s the reason I came back here because I wanted to run away from him but see what I’d put myself into? I ran back into the web I ran from.” She gave me time to sort it out with my girlfriend. When I went home that day, it was like I had fire running in me. I went straight to my girlfriend and told her the whole truth. The fact that I was marrying her just to make my parents happy and the fact that I couldn’t stop thinking about Linda. She was very hurt. She cried. She asked me, “So it’s over?” I said, “Unfortunately we have to do this just to make each other happy.” She screamed, “Well, I’m not happy. You’re selfish, heartless, and cold rock. What did I do to you to deserve this embarrassment?” 

Minutes later my parents called. My dad screamed on top of his voice. Threatening to disown me and all those words fathers speak when their sons disappoint them. My mom simply said, “That girl had bewitched you and she will be the death of you. Do you think that mark across her face is for nothing? We know more than you because we’ve been here longer than you. If you disobey us, you’ll meet your punishment.” These words would have gotten me on my knees years ago but this time, I listened to them and laughed.

In 2018 when we were getting married, my father was there. My brothers also came to support me. My mother didn’t come. She said she had twisted her ankle. It was a small court wedding attended by members of both families. When we fished signing the document, we took some pictures, hugged, and left the Assembly. In late 2019, I followed her to the US and we’ve been here since. I call my dad and he asks about my wife. Sometimes he speaks with her. It’s a little bit icy between them but it’s a giant step. My mother talks to her too anytime I call her. She has relaxed a little bit. They talk longer these days. They even laugh on the phone. It’s not rosy between them but I know It will be one day. 

Am I happy? 

Not a single day goes by that I regret marrying Linda. I had to break something to mend something. It’s unfortunate the way I broke that girl. It’s the only thing I feel sorry about but I know she’ll also find her happiness just like I’ve found mine. My son? Oh wow. People marry and wait to become fathers later. I married and I instantly became a father to two adorable kids—a girl and a boy. She’s pregnant again. Another girl is coming. What more can I ask for?      

–Danny

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