I have a couple of men lined up who want to marry me. One of them is 60 years old and already has two wives. One of his wives lives abroad, while the other lives here with him. I am considering becoming his third wife, but I keep having doubts. He is already 60, and I worry about whether he can treat all of us equally.

Aside from him, there is another man who is 30 years old and also married. He wants to marry me, but the problem is that he is a liar. He lies a lot, and I am scared he may not treat me fairly either.

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The truth is, I no longer trust young men my age. I feel they will not settle down and may continue cheating or marrying other women even after officially marrying you. I am not deeply in love with any of these men. I am just considering them to see which one would be the lesser evil and a better person to settle down with.

I am a single mother to a nine-year-old daughter. Her father has been in and out of our lives ever since he found out she existed.

I was 18 when we started dating and I got pregnant, while he was 21. We were both preparing to sit for our WASSCE exams when it happened. The first time he ghosted me was when my parents wanted to have him arrested for getting me pregnant and putting me in the family way.

I did not see him until a year later, when our child was three months old. By then, my parents had calmed down, and he was allowed to come and see us. He started giving us some money here and there. It was not regular, but it was better than nothing. However, he disappeared from our lives again.

In 2024, he came around. We met regularly and talked about everything. I was looking forward to him telling me that he was now back in the country and had settled down. I thought he would want us to start living together again, or at least start dating and see where things would lead. I was also open to having a conversation about how we would co-parent our daughter.

I was doing everything I could to make him notice me. I played the role of a submissive, doting woman, but nothing came of it. He left and returned in July this year, and he made some revelations about how he had gotten three other women pregnant. One of his baby mamas has two sons for him, the second has a son, and the fourth woman was pregnant at the time he told me all this.

Listening to him made me realise that I might never have the place I wanted in his life. He has other priorities and other women, and I may never have him to myself the way I had hoped.

After hearing everything, I have let go of the hope that things would work out between us. I feel I have wasted years waiting for him to make things right, and now I believe it is time to move on with my life.

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That is why I am considering these other men, but I am still afraid of making the wrong choice. I want a companion and someone I can build a life with, but I do not want to end up in a marriage where I am unhappy or treated unfairly.

Please, I am open to advice from both men and women. What do you think I should do? Should I consider marrying the 60-year-old man who already has two wives, give the other man a chance despite his lies, or take my time and wait for someone else?

—Marvis

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