In 2025, we started dating, and from the beginning of the relationship, I told her about my financial problems. I explained that I was still trying to pay off a debt of 4 million naira that I took to enter a business that eventually went sideways. I have been paying off the debt since 2024, after the government damaged my farm without compensating me.

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I told her all this because I wanted her to understand my situation. I did not want her to expect me to be some kind of provider who would always have money to spend on her or play the “odogwu” role in the relationship.

However, that has not stopped me from doing what I can for her. I still send her money when necessary and buy data for her because she is currently unemployed and living with her parents.

We were good, but something happened last weekend that changed how I see our relationship.

She asked me for money to buy an item, and I promised to give it to her as soon as I received some money I was expecting.

When she called to ask for the money, I told her it had not arrived yet. She got angry and hung up on me.

The next day, she called again, this time sounding even angrier. She was unnecessarily rude to me and said, “If you don’t send me that money, then we are not going to talk until it lands in my account.”

She cut the call, but later, she called to apologise. “I didn’t mean all of that. I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

Honestly, I have faced a number of difficulties in life, and the lessons I have learnt have really dampened my spirit. One thing I know for sure is that I do not want to deal with anything that will drag me backwards. I have been through a lot, and I do not want to put myself in a situation that will make things even more difficult for me. At this point, I want to break up with her.

I have nothing against her, but I do not want to be in a relationship where money becomes the reason for commitment. I want to be with someone who understands my situation and is willing to build a future with me, even when things are difficult.

I know she has apologised, but I cannot pretend that what happened did not affect me. I keep wondering whether her reaction was just a moment of anger or a sign of what I should expect from her in the future.

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Please, I am confused. Am I overreacting by considering ending the relationship over this, or am I right to be concerned? I honestly do not know what to do.

—Chike

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