She was my childhood girlfriend, the Juliet I thought I was going to marry, come rain or shine. But it was hard to tame a woman who did not want to be tamed. She shouted and screamed at me over everything, looked for problems where there were none, and was always confrontational. She was angry all the time, and I would spend days, sometimes even weeks, begging for her forgiveness.

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I was determined to marry her despite all of that, and we were actually working towards it. I wanted to settle down with my baby mama for the sake of our son, even though deep down, we both knew we no longer loved each other.

She practically controlled my life, and I allowed it because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have peace, and she wouldn’t be happy. She would then turn it against me, so I let her dictate my life. Even my family was worried. “How can you allow a woman to control you like that?” they would ask. But what could I do? If it meant keeping the peace, I was willing to do whatever was necessary.

If I made a female friend, she would find the woman, go behind my back, and warn her to stay away from me. That was how much control she had over my life.

One day, I had a very important meeting to attend. I walked outside and found one of my car tyres deflated. Standing beside it was my girlfriend, holding a knife. She looked at me and said, “You are not going to that meeting because you have refused to increase my allowance. How do you expect me to survive?”

It wasn’t that I had refused to increase it. I had only asked her to give me some time so I could put things in place and do what was right. At the time, we were also saving towards our marriage. She had a particular dream for our wedding, and if I didn’t make it happen, there would be trouble. So, I was religiously saving towards it.

With all these financial responsibilities, how was I supposed to increase her allowance at the same time? She did not understand any of that.

That was the day I decided to end the relationship. It was not an easy decision, but I knew I could not continue living like that. The events that followed the breakup were wild. She came over and burnt some of my clothes. The TV in my house was smashed. Everywhere she saw me, she insulted me, called me names, and questioned my standing as a man.

I received countless phone calls and text messages from her almost every day.

Because she had my son, I could not permanently block her. I blocked her and unblocked her each time after I sent the allowance to be certain she had received it before she came back claiming otherwise.

I was still afraid for my safety, so I started working towards getting transferred to another branch. I was transferred to Accra, and I saw it as an opportunity to start afresh. My love life, my mental health, and everything I had been neglecting were things I was finally going to take seriously.

One day, while scrolling through Facebook, I came across the profile picture of a woman I had met on public transport. We had a good vibe on the bus that day, exchanged numbers, got talking, and became friends. But I lost her because my crazy baby mama did to her what she would do to my other female friends.

Even back then, I always thought she was a very special person. She was collected, calm, and demure. When I found out she wasn’t seeing anyone, I decided to shoot my shot. I wanted to see where things could go with her, even though the ghost of my crazy baby mama was still following me. She was giving me a tough time because of her experience with her.

But where I come from, when you know what you want, you go after it. So, I decided to defy all odds and put all my good luck to work.

There were concerns about our tribal differences and whether my family would accept her as my wife because she was a Northerner. But there was no need to worry. Our families love eachother. Women from the North are truly something else.

Today, I am grateful for her patience, love, and strength. She is an amazing wife and mother. What makes me even happier is the bond she has formed with my son. He loves her like a mother, and she loves him the way a mother does. She treats him with the same devotion she gives our other children.

Seeing the way he looks up to her is a beautiful thing. She has brought immense joy and stability into our lives, and I couldn’t have asked for a better woman to share my life with.

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Sometimes, I reflect on the events that led us here. My car refused to start that day, forcing me to take a trotro to an important meeting. Some people might call it a mechanical failure, but I call it fate. If my car hadn’t failed me that day, I might never have met the woman who has brought so much happiness into my life.

I am the luckiest man alive. I always call her my Northern Treasure.

—DANNY

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