I am not pregnant, but my boyfriend thinks I am. In a few days, he will get back to me on what we are going to do about the baby. Whatever decision he makes will inform me of my choices and what I will do from there.

If he wants me to terminate the pregnancy, I will have to take some huge amount of money from him. Maybe something very huge to last me a good number of months before it finishes. I don’t even know how much is enough so feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.

I met my boyfriend in 2023, and we started dating from there. A few months later, I caught him cheating. There were trails of text messages to prove that there was a relationship brewing between him and a member of the church he fellowships with.

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People knew that he was my man, so once they also started suspecting that something fishy was happening, they came asking me questions. I decided that I wasn’t going to stay in the relationship, but family and friends intervened and asked me to give him another chance. Nothing could express how his cheating made me feel, but I loved him, so I decided to overlook it.

In 2024, he travelled outside of town for work. We were happy; at last our lucks were falling into alignment. He was going to be on a contract for five good years. We were both living in Kumasi before he relocated. Some months after his relocation, something changed between us, confirming the fears I had all along. It didn’t use to be like that. He used to visit regularly, but I was unable to visit him because of some circumstances.

I asked him about the change, and he said, “It is the work. My boss is always on us, and there is a lot of pressure here. That is why I am unable to pay attention to the relationship.” He insisted that it was not the money he was now earning in abundance that was contributing to his change in attitude.

I am in tertiary school, and my guardian isn’t providing for me like before, so he was the one helping me with my provisions in school, my fees, everything. So, coupled with his attitude, it became difficult to get him to send me money as he used to. It was excuses upon excuses. “I have not been paid.” “My boss is not around to pay me.” Meanwhile, he himself had told me that sometimes he handles his boss’s money and, at times, pays himself and informs his boss if he is not around.

I was about to write my exams when he said he had something to confess. “I have impregnated some girl. We work in the same company.” I hung up and called his elder brother to confirm. He also said he didn’t know anything about it. I added him to the call for a conference call, and that was when my boyfriend said it was a prank.

After my exams, however, he came back and told me it was actually true. Another woman was carrying his child. “You were preparing to write your exams, so that is why I lied about it and said it was a prank. It is true. But I want to be honest with you because you have said before that the only thing that will make you leave me is when I cheat. And I did not just cheat, I also brought upon myself a pregnancy. You know your way forward if you still want to be with me or you want to leave.”

I really sat down to think about everything. My boyfriend and this woman are already cohabiting. She is also a Northerner like him. He has told me that Northern girls are not troublesome like us Ashanti girls, so he doesn’t really mind staying with her if I leave him.

I have spent three years with this man. That means his betrayal has cost me three years of my life. My guardian is not particularly consistent when it comes to providing for me, so I started thinking about what would happen to me if I left this relationship. Then there is the expense of taking care of a baby too. It means it would become even harder for me to get money from him, even if I choose to stay with him.

That was when I came up with an idea. I bought a pregnancy test kit, took a picture of it, sent it to ChatGPT, prompted it to generate a positive pregnancy test, and sent the image to him.

After seeing the message, he called. We had a heated argument about it. He said that I must terminate mine by force. He said he couldn’t father two children at the same time because it would kill him. I asked if the other lady was also terminating hers. He said no, she wouldn’t. But mine must be terminated because, according to him, women from the North are calm, unlike women from my end. He has been restless since I told him that my parents would sack me from the house and ask me to go to the father of the child. I told him I would come and stay with him and he would be my sole provider.

He has not come back with any definite solution yet. When he returns and tells me to terminate it, it will only confirm to me that three years of dating have gone down the drain. But that is fine because I am not actually pregnant. I will just have to find a way to win back the time and effort I have wasted on this relationship.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

Still, I keep asking myself if I am going about this the wrong way. Is there a better way I could have handled this betrayal or is the money enough?

— Cynthia

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