I was breastfeeding our baby that evening when a painful realisation dawned on me. I didn’t want to keep everything inside and nurture it until it turned me into a bitter person, so I decided to ask my husband. Since I gave birth, my husband had never once asked me, “How are you doing since childbirth?” We have never had a proper conversation about the changes, my body, or what life has been like for me since becoming a mother.

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The least I expected from him was an apology. Something like, “Dear, I am sorry. I have been too caught up in my own life that I forgot about you and the baby. Please forgive me. How are you doing?”

If he had responded that way, it would have shown me that he really, really cared.

Instead, his response was, “If the child is okay, it means you are okay too.” We are in a long-distance marriage because of work. A few days ago, the woman my husband cheated with called me. She introduced herself as my husband’s side chick.

We resumed having sex four months after childbirth. What else did he want? I played my role as a good wife. What possible reason did he have to cheat? I told her I didn’t believe her.  She called my bluff. My husband had taken this woman to our house in the middle of the night. He hid every item of mine in the house before she came. She left before the neighbours woke up; if not, they would have called to tell me about his doings.

She described the place to me in such detail that it was as if she had designed the house herself. She knew the structure of the house. She described our photos hanging on the wall. She knew where they were and how everything looked. He had removed our pictures before taking her there.

Every little detail in that room, she described perfectly. She mentioned the baby items she saw in his room and said they belonged to his sister. It’s true; his sister stays there sometimes.

The worst part is that the woman claims she got pregnant for him. On one hand, she says she aborted the pregnancy. On the other hand, she says she kept it. Whether she did or didn’t is none of my business.

I am yet to confront my husband, but I honestly don’t know what to do. I am a prayerful woman, but I am not going to disturb God by praying for a cheating husband. Cheating was a choice he made. So where do I start from? How do I even go about this?

If I decide to remain in this marriage, will it ever be the same again? And if I walk away, what happens to everything we have built? I have already spoken to our counsellor, but truth be told, I am broken. If he accepts his mistake, I am very interested in listening to his explanation. I will deal with him with mercy if he is honest with me.

But if he denies everything despite all the evidence I have, I will drag him to the pits of hell. I will be shameless. I will destroy the good image he has created for himself. I don’t care about the consequences because I am a scorned woman.

I asked the woman what she hoped to achieve by contacting me. She only said her goal is to hurt him. But truly, who has been hurt in the end? Is it the man, or is it the innocent woman who had nothing to do with whatever happened between them? How do I even start healing? We are hardly two years into our marriage, and my husband has already cheated.

Our child is not even a year old. Before I got married, I always said that if my husband ever cheated on me, I would walk out.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

But now the deed has been done. I am numb. I am heartbroken. I am disappointed. I am disgusted. And the thought that he brought another woman into our matrimonial home, possibly even into our matrimonial bed, is something I cannot stop thinking about.

— Paulina
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